


Heavy

by Gilnki



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: FTM, Hanzo loves pokemon, Jesse and Hanzo have a healthy relationship, Jesse is ana’s son, M/M, Modern AU, Sugar Daddy AU, Trans Hanzo, Vaginal fingering/sex, Young Hanzo x Riverboat McCree but in civvies, age gap, ask to tag, had to remove the 'wee bit of angst' tag because now there's a BIG bit of angst, hanzo and genji are very close n have a healthy relationship, hanzo gets his surgeries eventually, pharah is a good half-sister most of the time, press f to pay respects, sojiro is still dead, soon(tm), sugar daddy/baby to lovers, they're both switches, well they try at least
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-02-01 18:28:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12710502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilnki/pseuds/Gilnki
Summary: Hanzo is broke and trying to support himself and his brother. Jesse has lots of money and no one to spend it on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hanzo is twenty, Jesse is thirty-seven.  
> Hanzo is trans and his personality is tweaked.

Hanzo let out a shaky breath as he checked his bank account. He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands in anger at the situation. He had read the number over at least three times before finally tapping the power button on his phone, unable to look at it any longer. Seven dollars and thirty-two cents. That wouldn’t pay the rent. That wouldn’t even buy him more than two frozen meals.

 

Hanzo leaned forward until his sides touched his thighs and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t feel the couch beneath him or even hear the tv in front of him as he thought about how he’d managed to fuck up this bad. Rent was due in a week and he wouldn’t get paid until the week after. He should have been smarter. Shouldn’t have bought that extra coffee on his way to work, shouldn’t have gotten a candy bars to bring home Tuesday night, shouldn’t have bought Genji that shirt- but damn it he will love it and it was the only thing Hanzo had managed to buy for him.

 

Hanzo dug his nails into his scalp. Christmas was less than a month away and all he’d managed to buy his brother was a shirt. With how his bank account looked, it seemed like the only other thing Hanzo would be able to offer Genji was a carboard box to sleep in when they got kicked out for not paying rent. He was the older brother, the one with the higher paying job. He was supposed to be able to look out for Genji and make sure they both had a roof over their head and food to eat.

 

Genji did help with the bills, but there was only so much he could pay with a part-time job on minimum wage. Hanzo knew his brother had been wearing himself out trying to find a second job, but the future wasn’t looking promising. Genji often complained about the schedule his boss had set him on because he was almost never home to eat dinner with his brother. On this night, Hanzo was glad Genji’s work hours didn’t line up with his. He wouldn’t want Genji to walk into the living room and see him curled up like this.

 

Hanzo slowly lifted his head up and sat up straight, brushing his hair back behind his ears and sniffling to ward off any tears that threated to fall down his cheeks. He had taken for granted how much work his father put into keeping his children happy and healthy. Hanzo couldn’t even grasp how Sojiro had managed to feed them all and keep the bills paid with two needy sons to care for. Gods, what he wouldn’t give to have his father with them again.

 

Hanzo’s eyes felt heavy as they drifted up from the floor to the tv screen in front of him. There was an ad for a mental health clinic playing. His shoulders gave a shake. Yet another bill he needed to pay but just couldn’t. All the surgeons in the state demanded a letter from a professional before they’d perform any kind of transition surgery. Even if he had the money to get the letter, how the hell would he ever find the money to pay for the surgery? They didn’t have healthcare. Genji had started saving a little bit of money every week for it, and it warmed Hanzo’s heart, but with his bare minimum pay checks they would have the money by the time Hanzo was fifty years old.

 

Hanzo grabbed the pillow beside him and pulled it close, squeezing it. He also needed money to get Genji a doctor’s appointment. His brother tried to play it off as nothing or claim it was just gas from how he eats so fast, but Hanzo still noticed how Genji would grab his stomach in pain at random times of the day. What if it was something serious? What if Genji died from it? Would it be too late by the time they had the money to get it checked out? Would it be Hanzo’s fault?

 

Hanzo felt helpless. He felt stupid for not having money, angry for not being able to find a better job, worried for Genji’s wellbeing, embarrassed that he was fucking up so bad, and sorry for himself. The feelings felt poisonous, making him nauseous and forcing him to hold the pillow closer. Hanzo pinched his eyes closed. It took a few seconds for his shaky breaths to even out, and when they did Hanzo gave himself a quick mental pep talk. The kind Sojiro would have given him.

 

_What are your goals?_

 

_Pay rent. Pay for Genji’s doctor appointment. Pay-_

 

_Too much._

 

_What is your goal?_

 

_Pay rent._

_Realistically, how can you achieve that?_

 

Hanzo bit his bottom lip. His friend Amélie came to mind. She’d worked as a cam girl until she was able to buy her own house- and fly her girlfriend over to live with her. He could do that. He didn’t mind his body, especially not when everyone watching is just a chatroom and they can’t actually speak or touch him. That had taken a lot of time from Amélie, though. She practically worked full time and she’d mentioned to him that money isn’t always guaranteed. You could work eight hours and only make twenty-five bucks.

 

A documentary he’d watched on cam girls briefly came to mind. How not all of them even stripped. Some just commanded boys around for a few hours and got paid for it. Then he remembered another documentary he’d watched at an ungodly time in the morning. It was about sugar daddies. How there are apps that are similar to dating sites, only you agree to sleep with one man, or woman even, for ridiculous amounts of money. He could do that.

 

Hanzo picked his phone back up and quickly unlocked it. He tried to ignore the way seeing his bank numbers felt like a punch in his gut as he closed his bank app and quickly navigated to the web browser to look up the right application for his needs. After surfing through reviews and a few blogs, he finally decided on what was the most popular ‘sugar’ app and downloaded it. He bit his nails as it downloaded and had to take a steadying breath before he could open the app.

 

First up was a username. Hanzo struggled with this. Everything that came to mind was taken. Okami? In use. Lone_Wolf? Taken. Cloud? Not a chance. Dragon? Never. Demon? Hanzo didn’t even bother trying that one. Young_Master? Accepted. Hanzo nearly groaned. He hadn’t planned for that one to work. Now he desperately wished he could go back and change it, but it was too late for that. He only had half an hour before Genji would be home and he did not want his brother catching him doing this.

 

 Next up was profile pictures and he took his time going through his photo gallery. He applied filters and debated over whether he should upload his binder-and-briefs-only mirror picture, admittedly it was taken so he could admire his own abs rather than to send it to someone, and he finally decided to add the photo to his profile. They’d want to know what they were… buying, right?

 

All that was left was his biography. Hanzo had to take a moment. Did he really want to do this? What other choice did he have, really? Besides, he hadn’t had sex in years. He’d have sex for free if someone was attractive enough, much less get paid for it. Hanzo turned the tv off and walked to the bathroom, thinking over what he’d write as he brushed his teeth. Many ideas were tossed around in his head as he made his way to bed and stripped down. It wasn’t until he was under the covers and squashed between all his pillows that he managed to write something out.

 

“Wanted single M under forty-five. Must live close by and must be okay with not coming to my place. Single M, trans and twenty. A Pokémon gift is good way to break the ice.”

 

Hanzo hit save and dropped his phone to the floor before rolling over and curling up into a ball. Tomorrow was going to be another long day and Hanzo couldn’t help but to hope that some horny stranger would stop him from having to work another day in his life in exchange for a few blowjobs.

  
»»------------>

 

Hanzo woke up in a sweat, clinging to his pillow and letting out a soft huff of air. He rolled over, wrapping his arms and legs around his body pillow and grinding on it. He was overly sensitive from a heavenly dream of being fucked over a desk and the feeling of the pillowcase rubbing against his clit proved to be nearly just as good as the fading memory. Hanzo whimpered softly, wishing for a second that he was humping someone’s leg instead of a pillow. He wanted to wake up from a filthy dream and have someone in bed beside him to make it become reality.

 

The abrupt sound of knocking on his bedroom door nearly made him jump out of his skin. “You’re gonna be late if you stay in bed any longer!” Hanzo recognized Genji’s voice although it was muffled by the door. He pulled away from the pillow and let out a grunt loud enough for Genji to hear before he sat up and started getting dressed. He was fully awake now, unfortunately. No longer in a peaceful world getting stuffed by some undetailed and burred masculine figure, but rather on the verge of being homeless and now dressing to go work at a fast food restaurant.

 

Hanzo paused as he worked on getting into his black skinny jeans and took a second to look over at where his phone sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to hold back excitement, but his hopes still lifted. Could he get out of work? Would he have a message from some older man that would offer him more money than he could make in eight years at his job, just to get fucked? Hanzo quickly pulled his pants up to his waist before making his way back to the side of his bed and grabbing his phone. He held his breath as he navigated to the app and flicked around between pages, hoping to find any sign of a message. But there were none.

 

He felt his hopes hit rock-bottom and, with a heavy sigh, trudged back over to his wardrobe to put on a sports bra and his red work shirt. He slipped his socks and shoes on before making his way to the kitchen. It was a surprise to find Genji sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal for himself, and one prepared at the seat beside him. He gave Hanzo a smile as he swallowed what was in his mouth and gave the extra bowl a nudge.

 

Hanzo sat down beside his brother, muttering a “Thank you.” before he dipped the spoon into the bowl and started stuffing his mouth. He risked a glance at the clock and felt his heartbeat quicken when he saw he only had forty minutes before his shift started. He’d have to eat faster and speed if he was going to make it on time. Panic rose as he remembered that Hana was the one working night shift and she’d go straight to the manager if she had to stay a minute later than she was supposed to. He couldn’t risk being late.

 

“Hey, Hanzo?” He instantly recognized the tone in Genji’s voice as the one he uses when he’s about to ask for something. _”Oh no.”_ Hanzo thought. _”Please, don’t ask for money.”_ He couldn’t bear to let Genji know just how dire their financial situation was.  “I ran out of Advil last night and I don’t have any money left over after buying gas and paying for my replacement tire. Could you get me some on your way home?” He asked without fully turning his head towards his brother, giving Hanzo a side-glance and hopeful smile.

 

 _Fuck_. Genji took the Advil to help with his stomach aches. Hanzo couldn’t say no, but setting himself down to four dollars wasn’t going to help pay for rent. “Yeah.” Hanzo muttered before shoveling more cereal into his mouth. Honestly, it wasn’t like seven dollars would pay for rent or even be a real step towards it. He might as well spend it on something important while he still had it.

 

Hanzo ate as fast as he could and stood, taking a second to kiss Genji on the head before walking towards the front door. “I make you breakfast and you leave me with clean up. Rough.” Genji called after him.

 

“Unlucky.” Hanzo threw over his shoulder.

  
  
“Love you, have a good day!”

  
  
“Love you too.”

 

»»------------>

 

“You’re eight minutes late which means I’m going to be late for my stream.” Hana sighed as she clocked out. “By the way, this is the second time. If you’re late again I’ll tell management and you’ll be fired.” She turned on her heels and walked for the door as quickly as she could, obviously not wanting to hang around or help out. Hanzo tried to ignore the pit of uncertainty that settled in his stomach at the thought of losing his job. Desperate to forget his worries, he made his way towards the back of the kitchen and enveloped himself in working.

 

It was almost noon by the time the restaurant was extremely busy. His coworkers were bumping into him as he passed, there were children screaming and running between the lobby and the playground, adults stared and huffed impatiently as they repeated their orders. It was getting inside Hanzo’s head. He felt like his skin was burning underneath his clothes and he couldn’t understand how no one else was sweating. It had to be at least ninety degrees in the building and getting warmer every time he had to ask the woman in front of him to repeat her order.

 

Hanzo noticed his hands shake as he tapped the screen and placed her order. He felt light headed and the pit in his gut made him feel like he weighed too much. His legs shook from the burden as his stomach flipped over and over. All the noises around him were swirling together and making his head feel as though it was on the verge of combustion. It was all too loud. It drowned out his thoughts and made him even more dizzy. Hanzo clamped his hand over his mouth, feeling his eyes go wide as he quickly turned around and made for the kitchen to get out of sight of the customers.

 

He hardly had enough time to find the nearest large trash can and grab a hold of it. He braced his hands on the edge and hunched over, reeling with the force his breakfast used as it came back up. It burned his throat as it passed and Hanzo could have sworn it was coming out of his nose as well. He pitched his eyes shut and was painfully aware of how they watered. The bile stopped flowing and Hanzo was able to notice his sides heaving before another wave crashed over him and made him grip the bin so hard it nearly tipped over.

 

The second wave seemed to be the end of it, thankfully. Hanzo felt like his sides were going to collapse as he desperately tried to regain his breath and steady himself. He was nearly ready to stand up straight when he felt a harsh, sharp slap to the back of his head that sent his hat falling into the pit of spoiled food and puke. Despite being a company hat and part of his uniform, that one was his favorite and one he thought he looked cute in. Hanzo would have whined in mourning for it if he had the air in his lungs to do it.

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Do you think people want to eat here after you puke right beside where their food is made? Why didn’t you go to the bathroom? Do you know how many people walked out when they heard you retching?” All the words were hissed at him rapid succession. Hanzo would be willing to crawl into the trashcan if it meant getting away from his manager. He knew trying to defend himself was futile and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to look at her without throwing up from the stress again. After a growled “Ugh!” from her, the manager snapped her fingers and pointed towards the back door of the building. “OUT!” She hissed.

 

Hanzo took a steadying breath before separating from the trash can and forcing himself to walk to the back of the kitchen and push open the heavy metal door. He felt like being outside should make him feel better, but only served to make him more uncomfortable. The sun in his eyes, the glances from those in the drive through, and the smell of car gas all made him wish he could curl into a ditch and stay there for the rest of his life. Hanzo reached up for his hat, wanting to drag the rim down to hide his eyes, but instead of grasped his hair and felt embarrassed at the thought of how many people might have seen that.

 

He glanced down at his shoes as he quickly walked across the parking lot and climbed into his car. As soon as the door was shut Hanzo pressed his head against the steering wheel and closed his eyes. It was hot in the car, hotter than it had been inside the building, but at least he felt some sense of privacy from inside his car.

 

Hanzo hadn’t even realized he was crying until he felt the tears start to seep through his jeans and dampen his thighs. It was only after he opened his eyes, blurred with tears, that he let out audible wails and hiccups. He let himself sit like that for a while, weeping for the first time in God knows how long. He sniffled every few seconds, trying not to get his clothes snot stained though he made no attempt at stopping his tears from leaking all over his pants.

 

Extending a hand to his passenger seat, Hanzo started to blindly grasp for his phone. His hand met nothing but the leather of his seat over and over again and finally he was forced to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand and start to visually look for his phone. He felt panic start to rise in his chest as he checked the floorboards and turned around to glance into the backseat. Had he left his phone at the house?

 

Hanzo took a deep breath as he faced the windshield once more. He pulled his shoulder forward to use the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his eyes. Once they were clear enough, he turned the car on before wrapping his hands tightly around the steering wheel. He could pity himself later, right now he just needed to get home.

 

»»------------>

 

Hanzo practically tore through the door with his keys as he unlocked the deadbolt and slammed the heavy door shut behind him. He managed to relock the door, a habit their father had instilled in them, before throwing his keys on the couch and storming his way directly to his room. He tore off his clothing until he was left in his briefs and tossed himself onto his bed. His arms wrapped around his pillows and he pulled them close, burying his face and digging his nails into them.

 

He stayed like that for a long while, feeling heavy with tears but none even threatened to fall. Finally, once he was sure that he wasn’t going to cry or scream, he sat back up and glanced around. He noticed his phone, still on the bed where he’d left it, flashing blue every so often. A notification. Keeping one arm wrapped around his pillow he reached out with his other, grabbing his phone and unlocking it. He pulled the notification menu down with his thumb and felt his eyes go wide as he read the message.

 

_'Actually, fire, rock, fighting, or steel are good ways to brake ice. Jesse. I’m thirty-seven.'_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because it was mentioned I'd like to point out that Hanzo's decision to be with someone out of desperation for for money isn't something you should attempt in real life.  
> Most of the main characters in this aren't good role models. If you gotta admire someone admire Ana. Or Hanzo's sister. They're good picks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse takes Hanzo out for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support and kind comments on the first chapter!
> 
> The main story line, with a plot point happening in every chapter, is eight chapters long. I wanted to know how you’d all feel if there were chapters that didn’t really contribute to moving the plot along but rather just fleshed out the relationships between characters. (And added more porn.)  
> Also, how about a McCree POV chapter? The boy is a huge sap on the inside who's got it bad. 
> 
> Oh, and Hanzo is scared of dogs. That's something that would come into play in one of the extra chapters.

Hanzo felt a smile spread from one side of his face to the other. That was an embarrassingly cute way to start the conversation. He set his phone down and buried his face into the pillow again, delighting in the way his negative emotions seemed to be breaking apart and dissolving like ice in hot water. He braced himself before rolling over and unlocking his phone. He read over the message a few more times until he started fumbling around with the app and Hanzo was able to navigate his way to Jesse’s profile.  


Jesse only had two photos on display. The first was a headshot that seemed to be taken by someone else at a night carnival or something of the sort. He was rather attractive. Hanzo had always liked brown hair and despite his age Jesse had no lack of it. He’d always felt like the brown in his eyes were dull and boring, but there was a certain depth to Jesse’s that he found extremely cute. His facial hair was a bit off-putting, but Hanzo could deal with it for the time being.  


He spent a minute or two longer mooning over the first picture before he swiped to see the next one. This one was obviously a picture Jesse took himself, but the quality wasn’t lacking. It looked a bit dated if the way Jesse’s goatee and mustache weren’t as thick as they were in the other picture was any indication. The furry head of a German Shepherd took up most of the frame. It was holding a ball in its jaws and craning its neck back to look up at Jesse, who was pressing a kiss between the dog’s ears.

  
Hanzo felt uncertainty prickle inside of him. He didn’t like dogs, especially not big dogs. He pushed the thought aside and scrolled down towards Jesse’s biography. After all, it wasn’t like they couldn’t just put the dog in a different room when Hanzo was around. He felt more doubt start to eat away at his excitement when the description portion of Jesse’s profile was exposed as empty. Doing his best to shake the worry of being cat fished, Hanzo went back to their conversation and started typing out a reply. He struggled with words and wrote out numerous sentences just to delete them. He did _not_ want to mess this up. After much longer than it should have taken him to form a response, he finally pressed send.

  
_’That was clever. I take it you’ve been playing for a long time?’_

  
Hanzo mentally started to beat himself up over the answer after he’d sent it. This guy probably didn’t want to talk about Pokémon. This was an app for sex and money. He started to worry that maybe Jesse wouldn’t reply, but the message came much sooner than expected.  


_’I honestly dont know a lick about it. Had to look it up. Saw the yellow one around though.’_

  
_’That’s a lot of effort for a first impression.’_

  
_’Effort is flattery?’_

  
Hanzo tried to ignore how every message made him feel giddy, like a high school student with a crush. The idea of getting huge amounts of money for minimal sexual acts with an attractive man was a dream come true. Though disappointed that he wouldn’t have someone to talk about Pokémon to, he was surprised that Jesse had gone such lengths just for an opening line. He was expecting to be fucked and forgotten but Jesse was giving off vibes that felt a bit more promising. _’In this case, yes, it is.’_ It only took a few seconds for Hanzo to start beating himself up for not giving Jesse an easy way to carry on the conversation, but it wasn’t long until the other man found a way to. _’Have anything to ask me?’_  


_’What made me stand out?’_

  
_’I thought you were good looking. Especially your cheeks.’_  


His cheeks? Hanzo put a frontal picture of himself in his underwear on his profile and Jesse made a point to talk about his cheeks?  He’d started to type out a thank you, but set his phone down the moment he heard the front door being unlocked and opened. He sat up, stretched, pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants, and made way out into the living room. As he expected, Genji was just getting home. Genji stopped taking his shoes off and stared at Hanzo for a few seconds in confusion. “You’re home early. Something happen?”

  
Hanzo didn’t answer. He couldn’t answer. He needed more time to think of something to tell Genji. Instead of speaking he slipped by Genji and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and got himself a Sprite, taking his time to open it and swallow a few sips before turning around and addressing his brother. “Nope. The night shift came in early and asked for more hours.” Genji gave a little nod as he leaned on the counter. “I just got back from an interview at AT&T.”  


Hanzo’s eyebrows raised and he leaned forward with interest. “How’d it go?” Genji gave a shrug. “They said they’ll call me within a week. If I do get the job it’ll be fucking great. They start at eight dollars an hour.” Hanzo felt jealously prickle at the back of his neck. That was more money than he was making. He gave Genji a forced smirk. “Hope you get it.” Was all he said before setting the soda down on the counter and walking back to his room.

  
He laid on his bed, annoyed at the thought that Genji might not need him anymore. Hanzo tried to ignore how it ate at him, grabbing his phone and returning to his conversation with Jesse. _’Hope im not being too forward asking you to come to breakfast with me tomorrow.’_ Hanzo’s bitter feelings evaporated as he read the message over at least eight times. This was moving along much faster than Hanzo was expecting.

  
_’Where?’_

  
_'Your choice sweetpea.’_

  
Hanzo paused, trying to think of what place would be most crowded in the morning. He still didn’t _know_ Jesse and wanted to meet somewhere public lest Jesse isn’t who he says he is or tries to kidnap him. He started to chew at his nails, stressing over if Jesse would judge his tastes.  


»»------------>

  
Hanzo tried to be as quiet as he could while grabbing his keys and slipping out the front door. He didn’t want Genji to wake up and ask why he was ‘going to work’ in a black tee, a gray jacket, and tight jeans. Hanzo had offered Huddle House as a suggestion and Jesse had taken it without question. The two of them had agreed on a time and nearest location before Jesse had started asking about Hanzo’s job and living situation.   


**Jesse:** Where do you work?  
**Hanzo:** I think I lost my job today.  
**Jesse:** Living with your parents?  
**Hanzo:** No. I live with a roommate.  
**Jesse:** Guessing thats why you don’t want anyone coming over  
**Hanzo:** Get a job as a detective.  
**Jesse:** I have the hats for it.  
**Hanzo:** What?  
**Jesse:** Youll see.  


They had kept talking well into the ungodly hours of the night until Hanzo fell asleep. He’d woken up to Jesse’s initial response and then a _‘Goodnight, Hanzo.’_. He had considered sending a good morning text, but thought better of it and just started to get ready.  
  
  
»»------------ >  


Hanzo turned off his key and prepared to walk up the diner, feeling his heart trying to beat its way out of his chest. He stepped out of the car and made way across the parking lot. Hanzo tried to look inconspicuous as he kept shooting glances at the guy standing by the door. He couldn’t tell if that was Jesse or not. Thankfully he didn’t have to figure it out on his own because the man put out his cigar as Hanzo approached and stopped him with an out stretched hand.  
  
  
“Howdy.”  


Hanzo looked up at him and took in his appearance as he placed his hand in Jesse’s He looked good. Well fitted jeans, a gray sweater, and a black leather jacket. The smell of the cologne made Hanzo’s knees weak, still he tried to look as unflustered as possible. “I take it that’s one of the hats you were talking about.” He said as he pulled his hand back, nodding towards the black hat with a red lining on it. “Sure is. Had one that I wore a lot and kept getting hats as gifts cause of it. Now I have something like a collection.” Jesse smiled and Hanzo’s eyes caught on the way the skin around his eyes crinkled as he did so. It was oddly charming. “Shall we?” Jesse motioned towards the door and waited for Hanzo to start heading for the front door of the diner before following.

 

They sat down at the table and hardly had a chance to look at the menu before the waitress came over. Hanzo ordered a water and a plate of pancakes while Jesse ordered a coffee with _two_ plates of country fried steak and hash browns. Jesse brought up the cold and cloudy weather as the two waited on their food and once it was delivered they both seemed relieved to have an excuse to break the awkward small talk.  
  
  
 “How long have ya lived in the city?” Jesse asked after taking a sip of his coffee. He wrinkled his nose, something Hanzo found cute, and reached for the small packs of creamer. He started pouring them in and taking experimental sips. At least fifteen creamer packages laid empty by the time Jesse was contently drinking his coffee. “Less than a year. I moved here after my father died.” Jesse stopped chewing and Hanzo noticed the way his posture got a bit stiffer. Hanzo quickly swallowed what was in his mouth and looked up to Jesse, wanting to move along the conversation. “And you?”  


“A few years. Work brought me here and I fell in love with the place. Lived in Africa before. Mom brought us to America and we’ve all been here ever sense.” The conversation lead to Hanzo asking about life in Africa and Jesse asking about Japan. It was comfortable and interesting, but a thought suddenly came to Hanzo that made his mind derail from the conversation.  


Hanzo covered his mouth, worried it would fall open, and pinched his eyebrows together as his gaze slid to the floor. He’d forgotten to get Genji pain medicine yesterday. He’d been too upset and had just driven straight home.  “You okay?” Hanzo glanced back up. Jesse had paused in the middle of cutting his second steak and was giving Hanzo a concerned look. Hanzo nodded, bringing his hand away from his face. “Yes. I forgot to go to the store last night is all.” Jesse gave a slow nod and turned his attention down towards his plate.  


“You got somewhere to be today?” Jesse shot a quick glance up to Hanzo before returning his eyes to his food and taking a bite. Hanzo shook his head. Jesse wasn’t looking at him, he didn’t see that. “No.” He answered verbally.  “How would ya’ feel about running yer errands with me?” Hanzo looked up at him and blinked a few times. “In tow. I- “ Jesse glanced away and scratched at the back of his neck. “Figured why not since you’re already out.” Jesse made a motion with his hand. “I’d pay for it all and I dunno, I thought it would be... convenient for you and would give us more time to get acquainted.”  


He wanted to take Hanzo shopping? “Okay.” Hanzo murmured quickly. He looked down to his plate and started stuffing chopped bits of pancake into his mouth. Jesse fell silent for a few seconds before answering with a “Right.” The two ate their meals in relative silence afterwards.  


After the bill was paid, by Jesse, the two made their way back outside. Jesse opened both doors for Hanzo and even walked a little faster to beat him to the passenger side of a white truck parked in front of the Huddle House. Hanzo stopped on the side walk and stared dumbly at Jesse and the open door. “You,” Hanzo’s eyebrows furrowed. “want us to both go in your car?” How could he be sure Jesse wouldn’t kidnap him? Hanzo felt he could overpower Jesse in some conditions, and he could tuck and roll if they were going the wrong way, but still his instincts screamed at him not to follow through. _Genji needs you! You can’t die to a serial killer!_  


Jesse’s shoulders drooped and he pushed the door halfway shut. “Just thought it’d be easier.” He shrugged and looked down to the door as he closed it all the way. “We can go separately., didn't mean to make ya' feel uncomfortable.” Hanzo found it somewhere between annoying and cute how obvious Jesse made it when his feelings were hurt or when he was embarrassed.  


_You’re making a mistake!_  Hanzo ignored his conscience and stepped off the sidewalk. He made his way to Jesse’s side and opened the door for himself. Once it was ajar Hanzo paused and looked up at Jesse. “Try to lay a hand on me to hurt me and you’ll pull back a stump.” Jesse gave a small smile. “Got it.” He waited until Hanzo was seated and buckled before closing the door behind him and getting in on the driver’s side.  


“Where to first?” Jesse asked as he started the truck and started to back out of the parking lot. “Starbucks.” Hanzo mumbled. “I need something to wake me up and I didn’t trust the coffee in there.” Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the widow. His heart was still pounding in his chest at the thought he could be sitting beside a murder and every cop show he’d watched started to play through his head. He kept his eyes on their surroundings and felt a bit of comfort seep into his bones when he realized this was the right way to the coffee shop.  He tried to keep his eyes open just in case Jesse veered off last second, but he hadn’t gotten more than four hours of sleep last night and his eyes eventually closed.

  
Hanzo was startled awake by his shoulder being shook. He looked around, pleased to find them parked outside a Starbucks, before stretching his arms and letting out a yawn. He rubbed his eyes while unbuckling his seatbelt. “If you wanna, I can drop you off and you can go back to bed. Just text me a list or write one out on my phone and I’ll get you everything you need.” Hanzo shook his head and waved Jesse’s words off before opening the truck’s door and slipping out.

  
The two walked into the shop together and Hanzo pulled his phone out of his pocket as they waited in line. He didn’t need to look at the menu, he knew what he came here for.  


**Hanzo:** Need anything?  
**Hanzo:** Besides Advil.  
**Genji:** Food I can make when I get home? Hotdogs? Frozen nuggets? Frozen pizza?  
**Hanzo:** Woah there, fat ass.  
**Genji:** Hanzo. They’re called frozen meals to freeze all the carbs away.  


Hanzo smiled to himself before pocketing his phone and turning his attention back to the line. It wasn’t long before the person in front of them stepped away and the two men stepped forward to address the cashier. “A Grande hot Peppermint Mocha.”  Hanzo ordered quickly before casting a glance up at Jesse.  
  
  
“And what about for you, dad?” The cashier chirped, also looking towards Hanzo’s company.  
  
  
Hanzo’s eyes widened and he clasped his hand over his mouth as he turned away, feeling laughter trying to make its way out of him.  His shoulders shook with the effort of not bursting out in the middle of the store. It was hardly a few hours into their first meeting and Jesse had already been mistaken as his father. Hanzo took a deep breath in through his nose and composed himself, standing up straight again and watching as Jesse answered.  


His eyes were squinted as if he was trying to decide if he should be offended or not. “Right.” Jesse grunted before making a notion towards Hanzo. “I’ll take what he got.” The two of them waited together and Hanzo had to try hard to stop thinking about the mistake lest he start laughing. A few minutes passed before the two were handed their beverages and made their way back to Jesse’s truck. Hanzo let Jesse open his door for him and buckled himself in before turning his attention to Jesse with a smirk.  


“Thanks, dad.” Jesse pinched his brow and Hanzo let out a giggle. “Hey,” He gave Jesse’s arm a nudge. “We can use that to our advantage. You’ll get free shit on Father’s Day.” Jesse looked at Hanzo with a somber expression. “Just what I want. A mug that says, ‘love you dad’ and a badge for being the world’s best dad.” Hanzo reached over, giving Jesse’s cheek a pinch. “That’s the spirit, pops.”  


Jesse’s grave expression broke and he smiled softly, glancing down at the floorboard as he brought one of his hands over Hanzo’s. His knuckles brushed the back of Hanzo’s hand for a moment before Jesse pulled away and started his truck again. Hanzo retracted his hand back into his lap and then glanced out the window. “Wal-Mart, please.” He murmured as he sipped on his coffee and wondered if Jesse had considered their hands brushing to be as intimate as he did.  


»»------------>  
  
  
Hanzo was feeling more energized after the coffee and the cashier’s mistake seemed to break the last bits of ice between the two. Hanzo lead the way through the super store while Jesse followed behind pushing the cart. He made a point to stop at the bakery and shot Jesse a devious smirk before snagging the attention of one of the bakers. “My dad isn’t going to be in town for Father’s Day so we’re celebrating before he leaves. Just this a small one,” he pointed to a blue cake in the display window. “but write ‘Love you, daddy’ on the top.”

  
Hanzo returned to Jesse’s side and placed the cake in the cart, shooting a grin up at Jesse’s face. But to Hanzo’s surprise Jesse was covering his face with both hands. He felt fear of what he’d done crash over him. “Jesse?” He wanted to reach up and touch Jesse’s hand, but thought better of it and just stayed where he was looming nearby. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would get to you this much…” With his face covered Hanzo wasn’t sure if Jesse was on the verge of tears or about to smash something in anger.  


When Jesse lifted his head, it didn’t seem to be either. He shook his head and gave Hanzo a quick reassuring smile. “Naw, it ain’t nothing like that.” His entire face was red and he seemed uncomfortable in the way he shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” Hanzo pushed but again Jesse shook his head. “Not that. Just, uh.” He motioned for Hanzo to go ahead of him again. “Let’s keep movin’.”

  
Hanzo still felt guilty, but he didn’t try to apologize further and instead lead the way through the store. He kept checking with Jesse every time he went to put something in the cart, asking if he could really buy it. The answer was always yes and Hanzo couldn’t help feeling like a child being taken to a toy store. He threw in the more expensive brands he hadn’t tried before and tossed everything that sounded good into the shopping cart.

  
The total price was a bit over six-hundred dollars and Hanzo was amazed as Jesse handed over his credit card and seemed completely unaffected like the bill was no more than eight dollars. They made their way back to the truck and though Jesse offered to put all the groceries away by himself, Hanzo aided in placing the bags into the cab of the truck.

  
Hanzo reached into the backseat and pulled out the aux cord he’d thrown into the buggy and unpackaged it as Jesse made his way back from putting the shopping cart away. He plugged it in and turned on the radio, casting a glance to Jesse as he got back into the truck. “What kind of music do you like?” He asked, trying not to smile at the way Jesse looked at him and then let his eyes wander in thought. “Country. Western.”  
  
  
Hanzo was tempted to gag, but he wasn’t sure if Jesse would be offended by the act or not. He went the safer route and instead offered something he thought would be a middle ground. “What about dad rock?”  
  
  
“Dad rock?”  
  
  
“The kind of rock music that dads listen to, no jokes about earlier intended.”  
  
  
Jesse gave a soft chuckle and a shrug. “Play it. Won’t know ‘till I hear it.” Hanzo looked back to his phone and started playing a song he’d heard at least twice a week growing up. This genre wasn’t something he’d listen to on his own, but his father had gotten into it shortly after they moved to America and it’d grown on Hanzo. He looked to Jesse to see how it was going over. His eyebrows were raised, but he didn’t seem to dislike it. “Tell me if you want me to change it.” Jesse shook his head. “It’s fine. Where to next, though?”

  
Hanzo pursed his lips in thought. “That’s it, I think. Besides, there’s cold stuff in the back. I should get home with it.” Jesse gave a nod and turned his attention to driving. Hanzo stared out the window, and let himself get lost in thought until a particular question echoed in his mind. Didn’t Jesse want sex in return for all he’d bought him? Had he accidentally cock blocked Jesse by buying milk and frozen foods?  Hanzo wouldn’t feel bad for ripping someone off, but he _wanted_ to give Jesse something.

  
Hanzo looked to the road, waiting until they came to a stop at a red light. He leaned closer to Jesse and slipped his hand into his lap, noticing the way Jesse sat up straighter and stiffened slightly at the touch. Hanzo glanced away, letting his fingers trace along the zipper of Jesse’s pants and brushing against his bulge with just a teasing amount of pressure. He relished in the way he felt Jesse’s hips press forward harden as he abruptly squeezed.  


It wasn’t until the light turned green that Jesse put his hand over Hanzo’s. He gave him a gentle squeeze before twining their fingers together and moving them to sit on his knee. Hanzo looked over, giving Jesse a questioning eyebrow raise as they made eye contact for the moment. He wasn’t against holding hands, it just seemed juvenile considering he’d met Jesse on an app for sugar daddies.  


“Don’t wanna get distracted and crash.” Jesse shot Hanzo a smile. “Another time.”  


»»------------>  


It wasn’t long until they were back in the Huddle House parking lot. He turned to Jesse and watched as he unbuckled his seat belt. “Is that all?” Hanzo wish he’d worded his question a bit better, but Jesse was already giving him a confused look. “Somethin’ else you wanted to do?”  


_Wanted to do?_   Yes. Hanzo gave a shrug and looked out the window. “I just… thought you’d want to…” He heard Jesse chuckle softly. “I’d like to, but it’s not my top priority. Maybe next time.” He pulled out his wallet, digging through it until he found a credit card and offered it to Hanzo. “It’s yours. Spend it however ya’ wanna.”  


Hanzo took it and turned it over in his hands, inspecting it. “I’ll text ya’ the pin number. Make sure you write it down or somethin’.” Hanzo looked up at him, blinking a few times. “I’ll try to keep an eye on it, but if you run out of money just tell me.”  


Hanzo’s eyes caught on Jesse’s lips and he felt himself leaning towards the driver’s side. His eyes met Jesse’s when he felt his breath against his mouth. Jesse sat stone still as Hanzo hesitated. He realized Jesse wanted him to close the space between them. Hanzo closed his eyes and inched his face forward until his lips were against Jesse’s.  


Jesse’s kiss was chaste and quick but Hanzo pursued, laying more kisses to his mouth until finally Jesse got the hint and leaned closer to Hanzo. He cupped Hanzo’s jaw, tipping his head back and pressing his tongue forward as soon as the younger man’s lips parted. Hanzo put his hands on Jesse’s chest and they slithered upwards until he could wrap his arms around his neck and tug at his hair.  


The two shamelessly made out in the car like horny teenagers until Hanzo was sick of the seat belt digging into his neck. He abruptly pulled away from Jesse and unbuckled his seat belt before climbing over the dash and slipping into Jesse’s lap. He smirked at the way Jesse’s eyes widened and he glanced out the widow like someone would be watching them. Comforted by knowing Jesse’s windows were tinted, Hanzo pressed two fingers to the side of Jesse’s jaw and turned his attention back to the man on his lap.  


He ground his hips down and ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, pulling at it when he felt teeth graze his lips. Jesse’s palms slipped under Hanzo’s shirt and the calloused touch on his sides caused shivers to run up his spine.  


Hanzo could feel Jesse’s bulge getting harder and let out a soft moan when it brushed against him the right way. He pulled back, smiling in an almost drunk manner at the sight of Jesse’s flushed face. His lips were swollen and parted, his hair was disheveled, breath labored, and lust was shining in his eyes. Hanzo leaned back in, pressing his lips to the shell of Jesse’s ear.  


“Fuck me, Jesse.”  


Hanzo closed his eyes and smirked as Jesse mouthed at his neck, but his smile quickly faded when he felt Jesse pull away. The older man shook his head. “Can’t. Not here. I’m going to give you a better fuck than one in a car. It’s too late to take you home tonight, though.” He stroked a hand through Hanzo’s hair. “Next time, maybe.”

 

Hanzo felt frustration flare inside of him. He took hundreds of dollars from this man and yet he refused to fuck him in his car. He held back a huff as he slipped off Jesse’s lap and returned to his place in the passenger’s seat. He picked the card up and glanced it over once more. “Anything?” He asked, casting a glance at Jesse who gave a nod.

 

“What about expensive things like surgery and psychiatrist appointments?” Hanzo mumbled as he turned the card over in his hands. “There might not be enough on there for it all at once, but just let me know if you need more.” Jesse paused, Hanzo guessed it was because he was trying to decide if he should ask his next question or not. “Which surgery you plannin’ on getting’ first?”

  
“Top.” Hanzo had been sure of the answer for years. He pocketed the card and took a second to make sure it was secure in his jeans before turning back to Jesse. He leaned back into the other man’s space and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you.” He murmured as he unbuckled his seatbelt and made to slip out of the car. “It’s nothing, sweetheart.” Jesse chimed as he followed Hanzo’s lead.

  
Jesse helped Hanzo carry all the things they’d bought, besides the aux cord and cake, to his car. “Keep that.” Hanzo had said, nodding towards the cake that was in Jesse’s hands. “The last thing I need is someone at home asking me about it.” Jesse gave a light chuckle and turned on his heels to place the cake back in his truck. Once all they had bought was packed away Jesse lead the way over to the driver’s side of Hanzo’s car and opened the door for him.

  
“I can open doors on my own.” Hanzo grumbled as he slipped into the driver’s seat. “I know. I just like helpin’ out.” Hanzo waited a second, expecting the door to close, but when it didn’t he glanced up at Jesse. “Would you be willin’ to come to my house next time?” Jesse asked, his tone unsure. Hanzo had to take a second to form a response. “Perhaps. Text me with further details.” “Mm’kay darlin’. Drive safe.” Jesse closed the car’s door before turning and walking back to his truck.  
  
  
»»------------>  


“Hey, asshole!” Hanzo called as he stepped in through the garage. He placed a few grocery bags down on the kitchen table and waited for Genji to peak his head out of his room. “Come help me carry stuff in.” Genji let out an amused snort as he followed. “What did I do?”  
  
  
“Nothing, I just know you’re an ass.”  
  
  
“ _Phew._ ” Genji wiped his forehead in an exaggerated motion once all the bags were on the kitchen table and chairs. “You’ve never bought this much before.” Hanzo gave him a shrug as he opened the fridge and started putting things away. “Are you complaining? Help me put it all away.” Genji snickered behind him but started rummaging through the bags and taking things out. “God _damn_. I can’t tell if I like sweet Hanzo with less groceries or mean Hanzo with billions of groceries.”  
  
  
“Sweet!” Genji pulled the popcorn out of the bag and smiled at Hanzo. “I was planning on making you binge watch tv shows with me tonight. This will make it all the better.” He set the box on top of the microwave before helping Hanzo put away what was left in the shopping bags. “Ready for all seven seasons of Game of Thrones?” Genji asked with a smile.  
  
  
“I need to shower first, then I’ll watch your budget gore porn with you.” Hanzo went to his room and grabbed a pair of sweats and a tee. He placed them on the bathroom counter and stripped down before turning on the water. Once it was warm enough to make steam stick to the mirror Hanzo slipped into the shower and made quick work of washing the shampoo and conditioner through his hair and rinsing his skin clean after lathering on body wash

  
As he’d hoped, there was still plenty of warm water after he’d finished washing. Hanzo took the shower head from its holder and brought it down with him as he laid on his back and got comfortable in the tub. He spread his legs and held the shower head with both hands, covering parts of it until he was satisfied with the pressure. He guided the strongest stream of water over his clit before laying his head back and closing his eyes.  
  
  
He held back any moans that tried to escape him, worried that they’d be too loud and Genji would hear him, instead only breathing out airy sighs. His orgasm was approaching quickly and he hardly had a moment to think of a name before he was sent over the edge. His back arched and he threw his head back with a silent moan. _Jesse, Oh, Jesse!_ He mentally screamed the name, his toes curling with the thought of Jesse tongue deep inside of him.

  
After he was left panting and breathless Hanzo let go of the shower head and stood up, placing it back on the rack and turning off the water. He stepped out of the tub on shaky legs and grabbed his towel, quickly patting himself down before pulling on his clothes and walking back out into the living room. “Alright.” Hanzo called as he used both hands to wrap the towel around his hair. “Let’s watch this porn with plot.” He sat down beside Genji, who was on the couch with the first episode paused and ready. Genji passed Hanzo a bowl of popcorn before pressing play and starting to chomp at what was in his own bowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t sure if I liked text messages looking ’Like this’ or,  
> Like: This  
> Tell me which one you like more! I tried to put minor grammar errors into Jesse's texts cause it just felt more like him imo.
> 
> Jesse drives a 2018 F-150 and I still don’t know what Hanzo drives tell me your car head canons.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy I'm still alive and so is this fic

Hanzo was stirred from his sleep by the sound of a scream. He peaked one eye open, watching as some battle unfolded on the TV screen. The two brothers had fallen asleep somewhere in season three, but the series kept playing through the night. He sat up and tilted his head to the side in an attempt to crack his neck and relieve the soreness that had built up over night from falling asleep with his head on the sofa’s armrest. He brought a hand over his mouth as his jaws parted in a long yawn and once it had passed he stood up to stretch his arms and legs. A soft snore pulled his attention to the figure of his brother who was still asleep on the couch. He’d been a bit smarter and had grabbed a pillow to support his neck, but his legs were pulled into the same fetal position and would be just as cramped as Hanzo’s. He turned and knelt down beside Genji, brushing some of his hair out of his face. “Sparrow,” he spoke just loudly enough to get a grunt from his brother. “Do you want pancakes?” Genji cracked an eye open at the mention of food, yawned, nodded, and then rolled over and closed his eyes again.  
  
Hanzo smirked and stood up, making his way to the kitchen and grabbing the sake-n-pour pancake mix. He got the frying pan, sprayed it with non-stick spray, turned the burner on, and got to work on preparing their breakfast. About forty minuets later the table was set with two plates covered in pancakes and a few various fruits, a maple syrup bottle, and a butter container with a knife perched on top. Hanzo poured himself a glass of orange juice before walking to the back of the couch and giving Genji’s shoulder a shake. The younger brother yawned and rolled away, purposefully rolling off the edge of the couch and stretching once he was on the floor. “So, are you officially a Stark?” Genji asked as he stood up and followed Hanzo back to the kitchen. Hanzo sat down and started picking at a strawberry while his brother made himself chocolate milk. Once they were seated across from each other, Hanzo gave a shrug as he swallowed what was in his mouth. “I’m more of a Lannister.”  
  
Genji dropped his fork and let it dramatically clank against his plate and the table. Hanzo looked up to see Genji’s mouth open and his brows drawn together. “You could have said Baratheon, you could have said Targaryen, I’d even be okay with Mormont, but _Lannister_?” Hanzo gave a soft laugh and shook his head. “It’s about winning wars, not loyalty.” He shot back before taking a bite out of his pancakes. “You’re fucked.” Genji spoke through a mouthful of pancakes, making Hanzo’s face twist at the gross display. “And you’re disgusting.” Hanzo shot back.

The two finished eating and cleaned the dishes together before returning to the sofa. While Genji tried to figure out what episode Hanzo had fallen asleep to, Hanzo checked his phone and found a message from Jesse that had been sent the previous night.  
  
Jesse: How about a movie instead?  
  
Hanzo wasn't a big fan of movies, and was even less of an fan of the itchy chairs in theaters.  
  
Hanzo: I don't like theaters.  
Jesse: Ever been to one of the dinner ones?  
Hanzo: What?  
Jesse: Its like a restaurant  
Jesse: but you sit in leather seats with a dinner tray and watch the movie  
  
The idea still didn't thrill Hanzo, but it sounded more bearable and Hanzo relented.  
  
Hanzo: Fine. What movie?  
Jesse: Up to you try to find one with a 3 pm showing for saturday, if thats good for you  
  
»»------------>  
  
Hanzo had picked a syfy movie and Jesse had texted him the theater's address. Once again, Jesse was paying for it and all Hanzo had to do was drive himself there. He sat inside his car, glancing at the front doors of the cinema with a ball of anxiety knotting inside his stomach. He wasn't sure if Jesse was there yet or where they were supposed to meet at. A quick glance at his phone told Hanzo it was fifteen minuets before the movie would start and with that he finally turned his car off and gathered his keys before getting out and making his way to the theater's doors.  
  
The first thing that caught Hanzo's eye was the comfortable-looking lobby chairs spread around the open room. Next his eyes traveled to the wide bar at the right of the lobby and that was where he spotted Jesse. He was leaning against the counter with a small glass, Hanzo guessed it was whiskey inside, and smirking as he chatted with another man who was sitting on a stool at the bar. Suddenly Hanzo wished he hadn't walked in early. If he'd come in later he could have pulled Jesse away with the threat of being late for the movie, but Hanzo feared that getting Jesse's attention now would only result in him being pulled into their conversation. Instead of risking it, Hanzo plopped himself down on one of the chairs. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and found comfort in texting his brother. Genji was at work and hadn't been there to see Hanzo leave. With any luck, he'd be back before Genji got home and could avoid questioning.  
  
Hanzo kept fidgeting with his phone and constantly looking up at the top of the screen to check the time. It wasn't until two fifty-five that Hanzo noticed someone approaching and looked up from his phone to Jesse's face. His whiskey glass was gone, but the confident grin remained. “Ya' scared me.” Jesse said as he reached a hand out to Hanzo. Ignoring the offer to help, Hanzo stood on his own and placed his phone back into his pocket. Slowly, Jesse lowered his hand once he realized Hanzo wasn't going to take it. “You didn't show up 'till a few before the show started.” Hanzo gave a one-shoulder shrug and took the lead as they walked towards the hall. “It seemed like you made yourself comfortable.” Jesse gave a chuckle at Hanzo's words while he handed his phone to the ticket taker. “Yeah,” Jesse answered while Hanzo watched with interest as the man scanned a bar code that was on the screen of Jesse's phone. “They have good alcohol here. Their steak is better, though.”  
  
Hanzo didn't bother to press for conversation and instead slipped behind Jesse as they stepped into the wide hall. He let the older man lead, scared he would take the wrong turn, until they reached the room. Jesse pulled the door open and Hanzo went first only to glance over his shoulder at Jesse. “We're seats A1 to A4. I booked them all so we could sit alone.” Jesse said as he lead Hanzo into the theater room. As Hanzo had requested through text, they were at the very top of the room in a corner. Hanzo sat himself in the right-middle seat and Jesse followed suit, sitting in the left-middle. He peered at the dinner-tray attached to the arm rest with interest. Noticing Jesse pick up a menu from his own tray, Hanzo followed suit. He'd decided on shrimp not long before a woman about his age made her way up to them and Hanzo realized with dismay that he recognized her.  
  
Casey was her name and Hanzo saw her in Genji's company a few times a month. He didn't bother to try to befriend any of his brother's peers, but Casey was one of the more polite ones and Hanzo knew the few, short conversations he'd had with her before were enough for her to recognize him. His fears were confirmed when he saw the look of realization on her face as she stopped in front of their seats. Her surprised expression faded quickly, and she gave a sweet smile. “What can I get for you two tonight?” Hanzo was aware that both Casey and Jesse looked to him expectantly and he felt pressure feel like it would crush him. _Don't tell Genji_. Hanzo wanted to whisper to her, but he wasn't one for begging and didn't want Jesse to ask about it. He forced himself to look down to his menu and cleared his throat before ordering the platter of shrimp and a glass of water.  
  
Once she turned to Jesse, Hanzo realized he was the only one who was tense. Casey didn't so much as glance back at him as she wrote down Jesse's order, and Jesse seemed as cheerful as he had been since he greeted Hanzo. He turned his eyes towards the large screen at the front of the room and took a few steadying breaths. _She doesn't look like she cares. Even if she does tell Genji, it's out of your control._ Hanzo tried his best to calm himself down, but fear still quivered within his gut.  
  
He'd been so caught up in his worries that he hadn't realized Casey had left and Hanzo almost jumped at the feeling of what he instantly recognized as Jesse’s hand settling atop of his own. Jesse slotted his fingers between Hanzo’s and used his thumb to rub the back of the younger man’s hand. His grip was relaxed and his thumb’s movements were smooth and confident as if he’d held Hanzo’s hand plenty of times before. It pulled Hanzo from his thoughts and managed to baffle him.  
  
This wasn’t what had been shown in the documentaries. This wasn’t what women talked about on forums. Yes, some of them dated and married the men that spoiled them, but it didn’t seem to be a common thing. Almost all of their experiences recounted getting money sent to them through the mail or banking system and meeting their ‘daddies’ for sex only to return home with more of the man’s money. His experiences with Jesse had been nothing of the sort.  
  
Jesse spent his time with Hanzo domestically. Taking him shopping, taking him to breakfast, taking him to the movies, and turning down sex after making out in the car. It felt more like a high school relationship than an arrangement to trade sex for large sums of money. As he sat there with Jesse’s hand on his, Hanzo started to wonder if that was how the older man viewed their relationship. If Jesse was looking for a boyfriend out of Hanzo, he wasn’t so sure he could supply. Secretly sleeping with an older man wouldn’t be a problem to Hanzo, but dating one was a different story. He had a good feeling Genji would see it as Hanzo being taken advantage of, not to mention the common judgment of the age gap. _But Genji will find out even if you don't date him._  
  
Hanzo remained still, letting his mind race with thoughts of his secret being shared and how Genji would react. He was mindful enough to pull his hand away from Jesse's as he noticed the silhouette of Casey marching towards them with a large pate of food on her shoulder while the movie started playing behind her. He softly thanked her as she passed his plate and drink, only to fall silent once more and stare blankly at his food as thoughts filled his head again. Fear of having to explain himself, having to admit he'd failed to make enough money to support his brother, admitting that he'd turned to sex work, it piled inside of him until he felt nauseous.  
  
Hanzo was pulled from his thoughts once more as he felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder and he turned to see Jesse looking at him, his eyes gleaming with worry. “Are you okay?” The older man asked softly with genuine concern apparent in his tone. Hanzo nodded, and Jesse slowly retracted his hand with a hesitant “Alrightie.” Jesse gave Hanzo one last concerned look before leaning back in his seat and turning his attention back to the movie.  
  
Hanzo did the same, but his mind was still far away from what was being shown on screen. Now, instead of thinking of the consequences for being with Jesse, Hanzo felt a stab of guilt. Jesse seemed to always try his best and Hanzo knew he wasn't giving the same back. It reminded him that Genji had given him a short, annoyed speech months ago and the words had stuck with Hanzo ever since, and hung in his mind especially in that moment. _'I get it, you're heart of stone, independent, but you've got to at least talk to people again. A monthly conversation with ‎Amélie doesn't count. I've seen so many people try so fucking hard to be nice to you and you just treat them like garbage, and for what? Because you're worried about who's watching?'_  
  
But right now, Hanzo had no watchful eyes on him. He was in the very back of a dim theater and everyone else in the room was too focused on the movie to look over their shoulders and watch the pair sitting in the top row of seats. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath before slowly opening his eyes. Now braced, Hanzo leaned into Jesse’s side and wrapped his hands around the older man’s arm. He nuzzled his cheek against Jesse’s shoulder for a few seconds before tipping his head back and looking up at him.  
  
Jesse’s expression clearly reflected a bit of shock, but also an overwhelming amount of adoration. He brought his free hand up and brushed it along Hanzo’s cheek and jawline as he leaned in to steal a kiss. Hanzo pressed closer to Jesse and parted his lips slightly as an invitation to take more and, after the older man glanced around to make sure they weren’t being watched, he gave Hanzo what he was asking for.  
  
Jesse’s tongue slipped into Hanzo’s mouth and started grazing along his cheeks and the roof of his mouth. He lifted his own up, pressing it against Jesse’s and letting their tongues twist and wrap around each other. It was a messy display, but the feeling was all he cared about in the moment. Hardly a second later Hanzo felt Jesse’s hand leave his cheek to wrap around the front of his neck. The touch went straight to Hanzo’s nether regions and he let out a desperate noise somewhere between a moan and a whimper.  
  
Jesse quickly pulled away and Hanzo pouted as he felt the older man press a finger to his lips and hiss out a quiet, but teasing “Shh.” With that Hanzo pulled away from him completely, sitting upright and facing forward. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Jesse fumble in surprise for a few seconds, meanwhile Hanzo tried to be as discrete as possible while moving his arm back towards Jesse. His date leaned in and whispered lowly. “Nothin’ ‘bout you, honey. Just don’t want someone lookin’ back- _Ooh._ ” Jesse’s breath seemed to catch in his throat for a moment as Hanzo got a firm grip on his bulge. “ _Oh, Hanzo.._ ”  
  
Hanzo was pleased to feel that Jesse was almost completely hard as he groped him through his pants. He retracted his hand for a moment and licked long lines across the palm and between his fingers before stuffing his hand under Jesse’s pants and underwear. Jesse leaned back in his chair and tipped his head back. Hanzo didn’t miss the soft, shaky sigh Jesse let out when he started working his shaft. He paid close attention to Jesse’s face as he ran his hand along his member and made sure to repeat motions when Jesse’s face twisted or his mouth opened.  
  
Hanzo retracted his hand again for a quick moment, having to reapply spit to it before stuffing it back down the front of Jesse’s pants. He took a quick glance around the theater and was glad to hear the movie’s volume had increased. With no one watching and sound effects to drown out noises from the pair, Hanzo leaned against Jesse and bit at the lobe of his ear. Hanzo started pumping faster and paying extra attention to stimulating the head of Jesse’s dick while moaning softly against the shell of his ear. He hoped the sounds would help to push Jesse over the edge rather than just come across pointless.  
  
Jesse abruptly sat forward and grabbed Hanzo by the shoulders, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. Hanzo was scared ridged for a second by the sudden force, but he quickly noticed the way Jesse was trembling and trying to keep in his heavy panting. Curiously, Hanzo slipped his hand up from Jesse’s base to his tip and wasn’t surprised to find it, and his pants, soaked with cum. He smirked as he pressed kisses to the side of Jesse’s head and used his free hand to comb through his hair. Feeling smug, Hanzo whispered a soft “Good boy.”  
  
“Gods.” Jesse grunted before taking a deep breath and sitting up straight while Hanzo took his hand from his pants. He grabbed one of the napkins provided with dinner and turned to give it to Hanzo, who delighted in the way Jesse’s brows raised as he watched the younger man lick his hand clean and take the napkin to dry off only after he’d swallowed what bits of cum had stuck to his fingers. Jesse shook his head and ran a hand through his hair before standing up. “I’m covered in jizz now, I’m gonna go home.” He whispered.  
  
Hanzo quickly got to his feet and grabbed Jesse’s wrist. “Take me with you.” He said quickly while searching Jesse’s eye with a pleading look. Jesse shook his head, but twisted his hand and gave Hanzo’s a squeeze. “I can’t. It’s too late-“ Hanzo didn't let Jesse finish his objection.“I’ll spend the-“ Hanzo cut himself off and let go of Jesse’s hand. He glanced down to the floor, feeling embarrassment wash over him. “Sorry. I didn’t consider that you would not want that.” He felt like he'd tried too hard and had crossed a line, but Jesse spoke again.  
  
“There’s nothing that I want more, darlin’. But your car, leaving it here, it could get broken into or stolen. Plus I thought you... ya' just seemed uncomfortable when I asked you back to my place.” Jesse spoke, shooting another glance around to see if anyone noticed the two standing in the back. “I said I would think about it,” Hanzo snapped quietly. “I have and now I want to.” He paused, then gave a shrug. “It’s old. The car. I don’t like it. Besides,” He leaned in and held both of Jesse’s hands in his. “You’d buy me another one, right?” Jesse smiled and took his hands away from Hanzo’s only to wrap one arm around the younger man’s shoulder and pull him close. “Yeah, I would.” Hanzo let his hand rest on Jesse’s waist as they made their way down the stairs and out of the theater room, completely forgetting any desire to see the end of the movie. He kept an eye out, and Hanzo nearly breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the doors without any sign of Casey,  
  
“You sure? What about your roommate?” Jesse asked as he opened the glass door at the front of the cinema. Hanzo gave a shrug and separated from Jesse as they crossed the parking lot. “He’s old enough to take care of himself, and I’ll text him so he knows I’m not coming home tonight.” Hanzo didn’t miss the expression that came over Jesse’s face for a brief moment. He looked _angry. Was it jealousy?_ As Hanzo sat down in the passenger side of Jesse’s truck, it occurred to him that he hadn’t ever mentioned a gender when referring to who he lived with. He’d just said ‘my roommate’ at first so Jesse wouldn’t know too much about his personal life, and he hadn’t felt a need to clarify since he'd become slightly more comfortable around the older man.  
  
“I’ll take you home with me, but on one condition.” Hanzo looked over to Jesse as he got in the truck and closed the door. He raised an eyebrow in silent question, remembering to buckle his seatbelt as Jesse did it. “You,” Jesse unlocked his phone and Hanzo watched with interest as he navigated to his music and selected a playlist before handing his phone over to Hanzo. “have to play my music this time.” Hanzo smiled to himself as he plugged the aux cord into Jesse’s phone and turned the radio on. He turned shuffle off and selected the first song on the list before turning off the screen of the phone and leaning back in his seat.  
  
They’d gotten through the first song, which was bearable to Hanzo, when the second one started. “Same guy?” Hanzo asked, looking over as Jesse nodded. “It’s about five different singers and just a lotta’ songs from them.” Jesse explained. Hanzo gave a nod of understanding before he leaned his head against the window and watched the the city pass by as his eyes gradually closed and the music faded from his ears.  
  
He opened his eyes, unsure how long he’d slept, and squinted at the red traffic light above the car. Hanzo sat up, stretching as best he could, and tried to come back to his senses. The country music was still playing only much more softly, Jesse must have turned it down when he realized Hanzo was sleeping. The driver turned his head towards Hanzo as he noticed him sitting up. “Glad you're up. Didn't want to have to awkwardly wake you up again.” Right. This was the second time he'd fallen asleep in Jesse's car. Oops.  
  
“How close are we?” Hanzo asked just before his jaw opened with a wide yawn that made his eyes water. “About to pull onto the road now, actually.” Hanzo sat straight and glanced out the window, taking in the surroundings. It was mostly trees, a small shopping center was behind them, and the road Jesse turned them onto was full of small forest patches that separated houses. Hanzo took note of the numbers on Jesse's mailbox as they pulled up one of the long driveways that lead to a quaint, rectangular brick house. Jesse turned the truck off and Hanzo followed his lead as they slipped out of the car and made their way for the front door.  
  
They were less than three feet from the door when a thought crashed down on Hanzo. “Wait, what about your dog?” Hanzo grabbed Jesse’s arm and pulled them both to a stop. Jesse looked confused so Hanzo quickly added, “The one in your picture. On the app.” There was a moment where Jesse’s facial expression remained the same, but then a wave of realization crashed over him. Hanzo wasn’t prepared for the sudden sadness that took over his facial features. “That was Eastwood. He died awhile ago.”  
  
“Oh.” Hanzo echoed. It was an answer Hanzo was glad to hear, though he did feel guilty that his comfort came at the cost of Jesse’s misfortune. Without another word, the pair moved forward and Jesse unlocked the front door before motioning for Hanzo to go in first. He stepped inside and took a long look around as Jesse followed in and locked the door behind them. The living room was decorated with two brown sofas, a few taxidermy deer heads on the wall, and various western items scattered about. A lamp in the shape of a horse on one of the side tables, a cowboy hat hung on the wall beside one of the bucks, and there was a painting of horses in a canyon above the TV.  
  
Hanzo felt Jesse’s hand wrap around his waist and he was gently guided away from the living room. He tried, but couldn’t get a good glance at the kitchen or living room behind them as he was lead down the hall on the left and introduced to Jesse’s bedroom. It looked typical, save for the collection of large hats on the wall and the display shelf that held DVDs of what Hanzo guessed was almost every western film ever made. “I’m gonna take a shower, feel free to explore.” Jesse gave Hanzo’s hip a squeeze before he let go and stepped back out into the hall. Hanzo assumed the door at the end of the hall was the bathroom, but wasn’t curious enough to follow after Jesse to find out for sure. He tossed himself down on Jesse’s bed and nearly moaned at the way it slowly adjusted to his weight. Jesse had a _fancy_ mattress, the kind Hanzo wished he had every time he fell asleep on his bed at home. Hanzo’s bed wasn’t even a proper mattress, rather just a cheap, old futon.  
  
Hanzo sat up to pull off his top, paused to make sure his undershirt stayed in place, and kick his sweatpants to the floor before he laid back down on his stomach and wrapped both arms around the pillows, pulling them to him. They were soft, too. Their comfort level wasn’t what had Hanzo shoving his face into them, though. They smelled like Jesse. His cologne, no matter what it did to Hanzo, didn’t smell as pleasing as Jesse’s natural scent. Hanzo found a strange comfort it the smell, no matter how new it was to him. He blindly grasped for the comforter with one hand and pulled it up to his neck. He closed his eyes, planning to only rest them for a few minutes, but soon grew too comfortable and felt too exhausted to resist sleep.  
  
Hanzo stirred from his slumber, but his body felt heavy with exhaustion and he knew he couldn’t stay conscious for long. He was dully aware of Jesse’s arm around his waist and the solid warmth against his back. Hanzo, not trusting his current mindstate, turned his upper body and glanced over his shoulder. As he’d thought, Jesse was spooning him while snoring softly. Hanzo faced forward again and let his heavy eyelids slip closed once more.  
  
He wasn’t sure what woke him up the second time. His first guess was the cold; his second guess was that Jesse leaving the bed had stirred him. It wasn’t until Hanzo sat up on his elbows and glanced down that he found the true culprit. Hanzo’s briefs had been pulled off and Jesse was between his legs. The older man was pressing his tongue to Hanzo’s lower lips, drawing slow lines from the base to his clit.  
  
Jesse glanced up and Hanzo could do nothing but watch as he smirked and wrapped his mouth around Hanzo’s clit. Hanzo grabbed a fistful of Jesse’s hair and tugged as the older man started sucking and using the tip of his tongue to toy with the sensitive bit of nerves. Hanzo bit his bottom lip, glancing up towards the ceiling as Jesse pulled back and licked a slow stripe along Hanzo’s lips again and his hips bucked up into the warm heat.  
  
Jesse’s tongue slipped inside of him and Hanzo's couldn't help but to let out a soft moan while digging his fingernails into Jesse’s scalp. Jesse reached a hand back, grabbing Hanzo's hand by the wrist as pinning it to the bed. Hanzo felt a moment of embarrassment, assuming Jesse had done that because he was being too rough, but it passed as soon as Jesse went back to lavishing his clit with warm and wet attention. Hanzo was dully aware of the way his body trembled every few seconds and how one Jesse’s hands were holding onto Hanzo’s hips while his thumb rubbed circles against his skin.  
  
Jesse pulled his mouth away with an obscene, wet pop and he smirked as he climbed upwards until his face hovered above Hanzo’s. Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse neck and leaned up, sighing as Jesse closed the distance and started giving him slow, shallow kisses. Hanzo tipped his head to the side and pulled at Jesse’s hair as he deepened the kiss and left the older man struggling to keep up. He wrapped his arms around Jesse’s back for better support as he lifted his hips up from the bed and grinded against Jesse. He gasped softly every time Jesse’s cock rubbed against the right spot. Hanzo felt his heart start to thunder in his chest. He was sure Jesse would fuck him this time, but while he kept attempting to impale himself on Jesse’s cock, Jesse rolled off of him and laid beside him.  
  
Hanzo looked towards him, blinking. “What are you doing?” Jesse raised a brow at the question as he brushed a hand through Hanzo’s hair. “Hmm? Need somethin’n sweetpea?” He was acting as if he hadn’t just woken Hanzo up with the best oral sex he’d ever experienced. He sat up, placing his hands on Jesse’s chest and giving him an impatient nudge. “Fuck me.” He stated simply; feeling annoyance bubble inside of him when Jesse started to shake his head and chuckle. “Nah-“  
  
“You take me home, eat me out, and yet you still refuse to fuck me?” Hanzo hissed, watching the way Jesse’s mouth twitch before closing. “I-“ Jesse looked away from Hanzo, blinking his eyes and very slightly shaking his head. “Didn’t- it’s, if you want to.” Hanzo barely let Jesse finish his sentence before snapping a response at him. “Of course I do!” Hanzo plopped back down on his back beside Jesse with a pout. Jesse gave a nervous chuckle and reached one arm around the back of Hanzo’s neck. “Alright, alright…” Jesse whispered into the shell of Hanzo’s ear, sounding more like his usual self. Hanzo lifted his head up so Jesse’s arm could be used as a pillow and he let the older man pull him in closer.  
  
Jesse’s other arm slipped downwards and Hanzo drew in a breath as Jesse’s hand trailed down his stomach and between his legs. Jesse didn’t waste time hooking two fingers inside of him and curling them. Hanzo's breathing became shaky while Jesse teased the sensitive spot inside of him. Shortly after, his thumb came forward and started rubbing circles into Hanzo's clit which ripped a moan from the younger man. "Jess-Mmh!" Hanzo's words were cut short as Jesse stuffed three fingers from his free hand into Hanzo's mouth. He didn't waste time sucking at Jesse's digits and moaned around them as Jesse stuffed his other fingers a bit deeper into Hanzo's cunt.  
  
Hanzo was left squirming in Jesse's arms as his fingers pressed into both of the younger man's wet entrances. Hanzo lifted his hips and let his head loll against Jesse's shoulder. He became dimly aware of the way his thighs were trembling when he cast a glance down to watch Jesse's thumb brush over his clit. Jesse slowly removed his fingers from Hanzo's mouth, wiping them on the sheets before brushing a hand through Hanzo's hair and leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Relax.” Jesse murmured softly while slowly rubbing his fingers over Hanzo's soft spot. “You're too tense.” Hanzo, keeping his eyes on what he could see of Jesse's hand, focused his mind on letting his shoulders ease and relaxing the tightened muscles in his stomach and thighs. “That's better.” Jesse cooed against the shell of Hanzo's ear almost at once.  
  
Hanzo inhaled softly to collect himself before sitting up, giving Jesse enough time to retract his hand before turning and digging through the drawer of Jesse's nightstand. He was almost disgusted by the amount of condoms he found stashed away. At least made grabbing one easy and Hanzo turned back around, giving Jesse a soft smirk as he opened the wrapper and pulled the condom out. He noticed the way Jesse blushed faintly as he spread his legs to give Hanzo room to work with. Hanzo sat on his knees and slipped between Jesse's thighs. He placed the condom on the center of Jesse's head, making sure to pinch the top of the rubber before using his hand to roll down the rim. Only, no matter how hard he tried, it wouldn't unravel. The condom just kept slipping off or unrolling half a centimeter just to fall off center.  
  
“…Have you ever done this before?” Hanzo heard Jesse’s words and felt heat rush to his cheeks. He held back words for a few heartbeats and gradually slowed his movements to a stop. “No.” Hanzo spoke, looking up at Jesse, who was stilll lounged against the pillows. “Everyone else did it themselves.” He looked back down to where the condom was in his hand, half unraveled and turned inside out. “And the videos made it seem much easier… it’s your fat head that’s the problem.” He heard Jesse try to hold back a laugh, which embarrassed and irritated Hanzo even further. “ _You_ could put it on, you know.” Hanzo shot a glare down at Jesse's face. The other man shook his head, speaking in a tone Hanzo found to be stupidly soft. “You're gonna need to know how to do it yourself eventually, especially if you're going for bottom surgery.” Hanzo couldn't deny that Jesse was right, and with a sigh he tried once more to roll the condom down Jesse's cock. When he found his hands slipping and no progress being made, he grabbed the condom and tossed it into onto the bedside table along with the wrapper. “Just fuck me without one.” He snapped.  
  
He glanced to Jesse and found an unsure expression on the older man's face. “I'm on birth control.” Hanzo quickly added. “And I don't have any STDs, so, as long as you don't, I don't see the problem.” Hanzo's words leaked with his irritation and he slightly regretted how harshly he'd spoken, but he was horny and wanted to get moving. Jesse sat up, brushing a hand over Hanzo's cheek. “But I can't confirm any of that.” For a second Hanzo thought Jesse was going to turn him down, but then Jesse's other hand came to rest on his side and he was guiding Hanzo onto his back against the bed. “This is stupid. Dont' do this with anyone else.” Jesse said before opening the drawer again and pulling out a bottle of lube. Hanzo quickly took it from him, popping open the cap and sitting up far enough that Jesse's cock was within complete reach again. He let a few large dots spill out onto Jesse's cock before snapping the lid shut and pumping Jesse's cock with his fist to spread the lubricant.  
  
Jesse groaned softly as Hanzo twisted his hand and he placed a few soft kissed on Jesse's jawline before laying back against the bed and wiping the rest of the lube off on the outside of his pussy. “Come on.” He mumbled, but Jesse still hesitated. “You didn't have enough prep.” Jesse spoke with uncertainty for the situation, but Hanzo gave a roll of his eyes. “You're practically dripping with lube. Fuck. Me.” Jesse still looked doubtful, but he planted his hands on either side of Hanzo and slowly moved his hips forward until his tip was pushing between Hanzo's lower lips. Hanzo felt a smile pull at his mouth and he bit his bottom lip to ward it off. Excitement bubbled inside of him as Jesse prodded at his entrance and started to slip inside. The stretch felt good and Hanzo almost moaned, but then Jesse kept pushing and he felt pain start to stab through him. Jesse couldn't have had more than half the tip in, but Hanzo felt like he was being ripped in half.  
  
“It hurts…” Hanzo groaned, feeling his face twist from the sharp pain that was inside him. Jesse didn’t hesitate as he pulled out and reached for the lube. “Poor thing.” Hanzo heard him mumble as he opened the cap on the bottle. “Probably still too dry.” Hanzo reached out and gently overtook Jesse’s hand, taking the bottle of lube from him again and pouring it out onto his fingers. He was careful as he sat up and made sure the cap was closed before setting the bottle down and slipping his fingers over the tip of Jesse’s cock. “Again, it's you-” Hanzo cut him off once most of the lube was smeared onto to Jesse’s member. “I know.” Hanzo answered simply before he settled back down and used the same hand to finger himself. Jesse watched with an almost feral gaze, something Hanzo wished he didn’t think was so attractive, as the younger man smeared the left-over lubricant across the outer lips and dipped his fingertips into himself.  
  
Once again Jesse tried to get inside of him, but just as they got to the shaft Hanzo spoke up once more. “That feels better… but it- it still hurts..” Jesse pulled back until only his tip was left inside and Hanzo’s body almost instantly relaxed a bit more. “We’ll just have to use more lube, then. Or slowly work at this.” He mumbled, brushing a hand through Hanzo’s hair while he started to gently bob his tip inside of Hanzo. A small smile quirked at Hanzo’s lips, his breathing became slightly heavier, and he glanced up into Jesse’s eyes. “That doesn’t feel horrible.” Jesse gave a hum of acknowledgment to his words and gave a little bit more speed to his thrusts but remained just barely insde.  
  
It felt good for a few seconds, but eventually the lubricant dried and Hanzo felt pain starting to return.“Jesse- Stop- I don’t want to do this anymore.” He managed to get out. Jesse was out of him in an instant and moved from where he'd been hovering above Hanzo. Jesse sat up and placed the lube bottle back into the drawer before grabbing the condom and it's wrapper. Hanzo watched his host leave and heard him open the door at the end of the hall before returning to the bedroom a few seconds later. He offered out a package to him and after a few heartbeats Hanzo realized it was baby wipes. “Don't want you getting an infection from not cleaning up.” Jesse said as he slipped past Hanzo and laid face-first into the pillow.  
  
Hanzo sat up and used a few of the wipes to clean himself up before closing the package and stepping out into the hall. As he'd thought, the last door lead to the bathroom and he quickly disposed of the used wipes and washed his hands before placing the package on the counter and returning to bed with Jesse. “I shouldn't have tried before I knew you were ready. Sorry ‘bout that.” Jesse said, turning his head to face Hanzo. “I'm the one who asked you to.” Hanzo answered with a shrug. Jesse hummed and the two fell into a silence long enough for Hanzo to start to drift off. He was on the very edge of sleep when Jesse spoke.  
  
'Want dinner?” Hanzo nearly jumped at the sudden break in silence. He sat up, stretching his arms over his head. “Depends on what you make.” Jesse seemed to give it some thought before offering “Pasta?” Hanzo nodded. “Phew,” Jesse gave a chuckle. “I dunno what I woulda’ done if you’d said no. I had everything ready for it for myself.” Jesse pressed a kiss to Hanzo’s temple before rolling out of bed and pulling his boxers on. As he walked down the hall Hanzo remained where he was, letting his eyes close while rubbing his fingers over where Jesse had kissed him. Movie date, hand holding, cuddling, trying to have sex, dinner, forehead kisses, maybe Jesse really did think this was a relationship.  
  
Hanzo’s eyes opened when he heard the sound of pans clanking together coming from down the hall. He slipped from the bed and scooped his clothes up before stepping into the hallway and moving back into the bathroom. It was a bit of a challenge figuring how to work Jesse’s shower. It took a few minuets to get it set up correctly but Hanzo quickly washed himself off and used a bit of Jesse’s shampoo to get rid of the sweat that still clung to his skin. When Hanzo stepped into the kitchen Jesse was dressed in shorts and a plaid button-up shirt. He was setting the table and gave Hanzo a smile when he noticed the younger man’s presence. “What do you want to drink? Got water, coke, sweet tea, corona,” he paused. “Never mind that last one. You’re still underage.” Hanzo gave an amused snort as he started walking towards the table. “Water is fine.” He reached his hand out to grab the back of the chair, but Jesse beat him to it and pulled the wooden chair out for him.  
  
“I can seat myself.” Hanzo growled and Jesse gave a soft chuckle. “I know ya’ can, but I still just like feeling useful.” Hanzo, feeling a bit like an ass, sat down and waited while Jesse got their drinks and sat down at the opposite end of the table. He glanced down at the plate of pasta and started picking at the shell noodles and small clumps of meat with his fork. He was starved, wished he'd been smart enough to eat his shrimp, but he wasn’t sure if Jesse wanted to say some religious prayer before eating. When he looked up Jesse was already stuffing his face with pasta. Hanzo was annoyed at the way Jesse didn’t seem at all bothered by the sauce that was clinging to his goatee and he looked down to his own plate to refrain from saying something. He took a timid bite at first and despite the heat, it was _really_ good. Hanzo started trying to pack as many noodles and chunks of meat onto his fork as he could before shoveling it inside his mouth. He wasn’t worried about manners, considering Jesse was busy doing the same thing. At least, he wasn’t worried about it until Jesse said something.  
  
“I take it ya’ like it?” Hanzo slowed his chewing and cast a glance up. Nodding, he wiped his mouth with the paper towel Jesse had provided. “Very much. Thank you.” Hanzo used his fork to pick at what little bits of ground beef remained on his plate and Jesse spoke up again. “Want some more? There’s plenty of leftovers.” The younger man shook his head and sat his fork down. “That was enough, thank you.” Jesse shrugged and went back to eating, leaving Hanzo to glance around the kitchen-dining room. His eyes caught on the stove’s clock. _Only six in the afternoon?_  It felt like he’d been away from home all day long. Hanzo, suddenly painfully aware of how exhausted he was, started rubbing his eyes and used his hand to cover his mouth as he yawned. “Yer free to go back to bed, ya’know?” Jesse spoke, catching Hanzo’s attention.  
  
He gave a quick nod as he stood, ignoring Jesse's offer to clean everything up while Hanzo took his plate and fork and set them in the sink before trailing back down the hall. He’d been dumb enough to turn the lights off, but was able to feel his way through the dark and sunk into Jesse’s bed. He blindly searched for his phone and cringed at how bright the screen was in the dark room. He quickly sent a text that informed Genji that he wouldn't be home that night before turning his phone off and making himself comfortable between the blankets and pillows. Even while worrying about what Genji would ask and what his friend might tell him, It didn't take long for Hanzo to doze off again.  
  
He remembered being roused as his host joined him in bed and Hanzo pushed Jesse away when he tried to kiss his forehead. Hanzo wasn’t awake enough to think about being more polite or forcing out a more intimate side like had earlier, but Jesse didn’t seem to mind it as he spooned Hanzo from behind. Jesse was warm against his back and the hand that gently rested on Hanzo’s hip felt slightly more comforting than annoying. He let his breathing even out once again and fell back into dreams he wouldn’t remember in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I wrote a full scene where they fucked and n all, but I thought the more realistic route was better? I’ve never seen a fic that included a sex scene that was stopped because they couldn’t figure things out, and considering it’s between an out of practice, relatively inexperienced twenty-year-old and someone who wasn’t entirely into it from the start, it just felt more fitting to me. (In case there was any confusion: it’s consensual on both ends. Jesse enjoyed himself and wanted it, he was just hoping for something a little bit more romantic to lead into their first time.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I haven't updated this in so long I'm posting both chapter four and five today.

It had been three days since Hanzo had spent the night at Jesse's house and, as far as he could tell, Casey hadn't said a word to Genji. His brother pestered him about who he stayed with, of course, but the questions died down after a day and Hanzo was feeling more confident that his secret lover would remain unknown and unmentioned.  
  
He tried his best not to think about how it felt waking up beside Jesse, but it came to mind almost every time he was alone. Jesse had woken first; when Hanzo came to he realized Jesse was still holding him in his arms. His chin was resting on top of Hanzo's head and he had the small TV on the dresser turned on to the morning news. Hanzo had remained still and cherished the cuddling while he waited to fully come to his senses.  
  
The rest of the morning remained almost as intimate as it had started. Jesse asked if Hanzo was still hurting from last night, offered to make him breakfast, kissed Hanzo's temple every chance he could, wrapped him in a blanket when he noticed Hanzo was shaking from the chill, and once they were in the truck and the blanket had to be left behind, Jesse offered his winter jacket.  
  
Hanzo had managed to slip back into his own car with the coat and it was currently hanging off the side of the bed. Hanzo couldn't decide if he wanted to give it back or hold onto it every night and wear it every day. _It's far too early for sentiment. I shouldn't have even taken it in the first place._ He kept trying to remind himself.  
  
His trip down memory lane was interrupted by his bedroom door being swung open. Genji stepped through. “Thanks for knocking before you came in.” Hanzo muttered.  
  
Genji gave a scoff as he walked over to Hanzo's bed and plopped down. “I know you lock your door when you change so there's no need to knock. It saves us both a step.” He answered while squinting to try and get a clear view of what Hanzo was doing on his laptop.  
  
Annoyed, Hanzo closed the lid and turned around in his chair to face his brother. “What do you want?”  
  
Genji shrugged. “I thought I could spend some quality time with my brother on my day off. Turns out he's an asshole.” The younger brother fell backwards on the bed with a grunt. “You don't  _always_  have to be in a bad mood, you know.”  
  
Hanzo hardly resisted the urge to pick Genji up and toss him back out into the hallway. “If I walked into your room and did two things that I knew annoyed you, I don't think you'd be pleased.” Once Hanzo had finished speaking Genji let out a sigh.  
  
“Sorry for breathing, sorry for talking to you.”  
  
Hanzo clenched his jaw, resigning to say nothing. A few moments passed and finally Genji sat back up and pointed towards the laptop.“What are you doing?” He asked, his tone giving away his disinterest.  
  
“I _was_ booking you a doctor's appointment, before you came in to pester me.” Hanzo answered. Genji didn't need to know that Hanzo had been doing online shopping for most of the morning.  
  
When Genji next spoke he sounded much more engaged in the conversation than seconds before. “What? How? You just bought all those groceries and you started seeing that therapist.” Hanzo waved him off with a hand motion. He still couldn't think of a proper excuse for where the money was coming from. Genji wasn't stupid enough to believe McDonalds was paying their rent and doctor bills.  
  
“Don't worry about it. Did you get that job you mentioned?” Hanzo asked  
  
Genji hesitated as if unsure as to weather or not he should push the money conversation. _Drop it._  Hanzo silently willed him. Eventually he answered Hanzo's question. “I did.”  
  
Hanzo gave a shrug and leaned back in the chair. “Then we don't have to worry about it.”  
  
He noticed the way Genji didn't meet his gaze and scratched the back of his neck as a silence filled the room. _You just have to trust me, Sparrow. I'm doing this for you._  An image of Jesse's smile coming to mind. _And maybe a little bit for myself._  
  
The silence seemed to stretch out and Hanzo wasn't sure how much time had passed before Genji clapped his hands together and looked back to his brother. “Well, I actually wanted to celebrate the job and have us go out to lunch somewhere.” Genji's offer made Hanzo's bones weak with relief when he realized that he wouldn't be pushed for an explanation. At least not now.  
  
“Or we could just order in.” Hanzo offered, but Genji's expression instantly went to pleading.  
  
“Please, Hanzo. That new bar and grill just opened and I've been wanting to try it since I saw the sign!” Genji begged with a pitiful pout.  
  
Hanzo sunk a bit further down into the seat and grunted. He didn't want to face traffic or be in a crowded bar, but Genji was obviously set on going. “Fine.” he huffed. “Let me get dressed.”  
  
Genji stood up with an excited bounce and Hanzo had to fight hard not to smile at how happy his brother was. “Alright! I'll go warm the car up. Are you driving or-” Hanzo gave him a glare. “I'm driving. Got it.” He gave Hanzo one last smile before slipping out of his room.  
  
He locked his door behind Genji before switching out his comfortable clothes for a binder, a jersey tee, and jeans. He paused on his way towards the door, shooting a glance back at Jesse's coat. He stared it down for a few seconds before grabbing it and pulling it on. It was winter, after all.  
  
He made sure he had the essentials before joining Genji in the driveway and getting in the passenger’s seat. The drive was painless, aside from having to listen to Genji's poor music taste. The bar was crowded, but despite the noise and lack of drink refills, Hanzo managed to enjoy himself and was pleased to see Genji was having a good time as well. They got through most of their stay with smiles and laughs, but it was while they were waiting for a to-go box that Genji decided to pry.  
  
“So,” He shifted in his seat, wigging closer to the table and staring Hanzo down with a smirk. “I noticed you have a new jacket... from your secret lover, hmm?” Hanzo's smile faded. He hesitated just a little too long and Genji took the chance to follow up. “A smoker at that. That thing has soaked the smoke of so many cigarettes I could smell it in the car.”  
  
Hanzo pinched his brows together and shook his head in disbelief. He struggled to find the right thing to say- anything that would get Genji to shut up. He started to question if Casey had mentioned his whereabouts.  
  
“What do you look all mad for? I'm just asking you who the guy is.” Genji leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I tell you all about the people I stay out with.”  
  
“If I wanted you to know,” Hanzo had to pause. His voice quivered with anger. “I would talk to you about it. Stop pestering me about topics I've told you to drop!” He hissed, trying to keep his voice down.  
  
Genji gave Hanzo a disgusted look from across the table. “What the hell is wrong with you? You used to beg me to go with you when Malcolm would ask you out. Now you act like I insulted you just because I asked who's jacket you're wearing!”  
  
Their argument fell off as the waiter gave them their bill. The walk to the car and the ride home was silent. Genji's words had bothered him more than he'd like to admit. Figuring out why talking about Jesse bothered him took a lot of pondering, and luckily Genji didn't say anything to interrupt his thought process.  
  


»»------------>  
  
Not long after they returned home Hanzo received a message from Jesse. He'd been invited over for dinner and had had accepted without a second thought. By the time he arrived the sun was hanging low, painting the sky orange. For being in the middle of December, the air was just warm enough to bear standing outside.  
  
He knocked on the door and a few seconds later it opened. Jesse, wearing a t-shirt with holes and unbuttoned blue jeans, welcomed him inside. Hanzo's eye caught on the undone button, but he quickly snapped his attention back to Jesse's face. _Don't look back down._ Hanzo pleaded himself as he forced himself to keep eye-contact with Jesse. _He completely noticed the first glance._  
  
“Hey, it's hard sometimes.” Jesse joked and put a hand down to cover the front of his pants. “You wouldn't know. Your stomach is as flat as an ironin' board.” The words brought a confident smile to Hanzo's lips, but he couldn't think of a proper response. Luckily, he didn't have to. Jesse closed the front door and lead him into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took a step back with a gesture for Hanzo to pick a beverage.  
  
He selected a canned soda and silently followed Jesse through the sliding glass doors and out onto the back porch. Jesse hovered over the grill and Hanzo settled in a red camping chair nearby. He peered over at the grill. Cooking out in the middle of December was an interesting choice, but one that managed to work that night. “How do you feel about hamburgers?” Jesse prompted.  
  
Hanzo shrugged. “They're fine.” He murmured while letting his eyes examine the backyard. It was large and there was a hill at the back. The porch they sat on was covered, but not screened in. A pool occupied the left side of the yard and Hanzo stared at the tarp covering it.  
  
“You want it rare, medium rare, medium well, or well done? I can also burn the shit out of it.” Jesse turned his head as he waited for a response.  
  
Confused, Hanzo shrugged and shook his head. “I have no fucking clue what any of that means. Just grill it until it's not pink inside but not long enough for it to burn.”  
  
Jesse chuckled at Hanzo's response and gave a nod of understanding. “Well done, then.”  
  
“Your house is nice. Especially the backyard.” Hanzo commented, his eyes still focused on the pool. They'd had one in Hanamura and it held fond memories for him.  
  
“Thanks, though I didn't do much of the decorating.” Jesse said and nodded towards the window planters overflowing with leaves and colorful flowers. “My mom and sister did most of it. If it doesn't have a horse on it I probably didn't pick it out.”  
  
A smile pulled at Hanzo's lips. He tipped his head back and glanced up towards the older man. “Yeah? And the cum stained towels in the bathroom? Did you pick those out?” He teased, raising an inquisitive eyebrow as Jesse met his gaze.  
  
Jesse looked like a deer in headlights for a second and Hanzo didn't miss the slight blush on his cheeks. He chuckled nervously and turned back towards the grill, but he'd already given away his embarrassment. “Look, in the winter a hot shower is better than the freezing bedroom and when there's water all over your face ya' don't care if you grab the jizz rag or not.”  
  
“Why not just let the water wash it off?” Hanzo teased, catching the logic flaw. “Quit lying to me about why your whole bathroom is your cum dump.” He paused, casting a glance back at the pool. Jesse didn't say anything else, ran out of lies, Hanzo assumed. It was becoming harder to refrain from asking about swimming when another long time desire came to his mind.  
  
“You could get a hot tub.” Hanzo turned back to Jesse with a sneer. He wasn't done with the previous topic. “Save the shower head some work.” Hanzo made a motion with his hips. “The bubble jet would feel good, yeah?” His voice quivered as he struggled not to laugh. Jesse's presence had put Hanzo into quite the playful mood. The stress he'd been under earlier had been lifted the moment he arrived and Hanzo felt his heart twitch in desire as he considered spending the night with Jesse again.  
  
“ _Lord all mighty_.” Jesse muttered, shaking his head slowly. “Not getting a hot tub so I can fuck it.”  
  
“What if I wanted to fuck it?” Hanzo leaned closer towards Jesse.  
  
“No. No hot tub.” He answered, eyes glued to the burgers.  
  
“What if I wanted to,” Hanzo paused for effect. “fuck _in_ the hot tub.”  
  
Jesse looked up with a thoughtful expression. “Mmh. Hot tub idea is kinda growin' on me.”  
  
Hanzo giggled, but shook his head and kept insisting. “Really. I haven't had a hot tub to play in since I was a child.”  
  
“I'm not getting one here, but...” Jesse trailed off. He started moving the burger patties from the grill onto a plate. “There's one at my family's vacation home.” He cast a sideways glance at Hanzo. “If you stick around maybe you'll get to see it one day.”  
  
Hanzo blinked, silent as he watched Jesse turn the grill off and bring the food inside. _Stick around?_ Not wanting to overthink things, and really not wanting to get his hopes up, Hanzo dropped the topic and followed Jesse back inside. He closed the backdoor door behind himself before trailing into the kitchen where Jesse was setting the table with toppings and condiments.

 

He sat down at the same spot as last time he'd visited and spent a few minuets assembling his burger. They sat in silence until Jesse, ever set on talking, spoke up. “So, how have things been going for you? Haven't seen you since last...” Jesse trailed off. He squinted in thought.  
  
“Saturday.” Hanzo interjected.  
  
“Yeah. Saturday.” Jesse smirked. “You watch any 'how to use a condom' videos since then?”  
  
Hanzo shot him a glare. He decided not to validate the jab and instead answered the initial question. “Fine. I went to my first therapist appointment the other day. My second one is tomorrow. I also got Christmas shopping done. Oh, and I paid for my brother's doctor appointment. Well, _you_  paid for it.” He gave Jesse a weary glance. “I hope that's okay.”  
  


“Of course. All the money on that card is yours to spend however you want.” Jesse took a bite and chewed it slowly, probably trying to delay while thinking of more conversation topics. “Hey, Hanzo?” He asked through a mouthful of burger. At least he had the decency to cover his mouth with his hand. Hanzo, looking only a little grossed out, raised an eyebrow.  
  
“What are your passions?” Jesse asked. He swallowed and then elaborated. “Like what keeps you going?”  
  
Hanzo was a bit baffled by the question. He put his burger down and ran his tongue across the inside of his cheek in thought. “Not much.” He muttered finally. “Taking care of my brother has been my only goal for the past year. After he's self-sufficient I don't know what use I'll have.” Most of Hanzo's passions had died in recent years. He'd given up on finding a job he loved and instead was willing to do whatever got him the most money, and there wasn't time or money to spare for hobbies.  
  
“What about transitioning? What do you do to pass the time?”  
  
“I sleep.” He took a bite from his burger and didn't keep talking until he swallowed. “ Transitioning is something to do with myself,” he shrugged. “but it's not something to be. Dick or no dick I'll still have nothing to amount to.”  
  
Jesse was quiet for awhile. When he spoke again his tone was soft, pitying.“It sounds like you've been overworking yourself real hard for awhile. Ya need time to be bored. Boredom is the best way to find inspiration.”  
  
“What about you?” Hanzo asked while avoiding eye-contact. He'd overshared and wanted the attention off himself.  
  
“Hmm.” Jesse scratched at the underside of his jaw. “I really like movies. I get real passionate about the actors an' story lines and I'll get mad if a movie I was looking forward to ends up bein' shitty.”  
  
Hanzo had nothing else to say and so they finished their meal without further conversation. Once their plates were clean Jesse piped up again.”So, if you do get the doctor's approval what kind of surgeries are you getting? Do you know the details of them?”  
  
“Hormone therapy would come first. Then-”  
  
Jesse cut Hanzo off before he could finish. “What's the hormone therapy?”  
  
“They inject testosterone into me. I'll get facial hair, my fat will go to my stomach instead of hips and whatnot, my voice will drop, that sort of thing.”  
  
“Wouldn't that stop you from getting pregnant?”  
  
Hanzo shook his head. “It'll stop my period but I'll have to stay on birth control. After I've started T and it's going well I want top surgery.” He felt himself sit straighter and could hear confidence in his own voice. This was something he enjoyed sharing. A plan, something he'd looked into for many years. A smile pulled at Jesse's lips as he listened to Hanzo proudly list his plans. “and then bottom surgery.”  
  
“Interestin'.” Jesse stretched his arms over his head as he yawned. “Well, sweetheart, I'm gonna clean up the kitchen here and then I'll be hitting the hay. You're welcome to join me, or stay up out in the livin' room, or head home if you'd prefer.” He stood up and collected their plates, carrying them in the sink and washing them off. Hanzo turned his head to stare at Jesse's back.  
  
Being fed and offered a place in bed, as normal as it may seem to some, left Hanzo feeling spoiled. It made him crave more affection and watching Jesse do something as domestic as cleaning the kitchen wasn't helping to stop the urge.  
  
_I can't keep letting myself get fucked up on Oxytocin if this is casual to him._  “Jesse...” The words died in Hanzo's throat the second he started. _I can't. Even if he is interested in something, he'll think it's creepy that I'm asking so soon._  “Ah, never mind.” Hanzo muttered, looking away and dismissively waving his hand.  
  
Jesse glanced over his shoulder while using a sponge to scrub the debris off of one of the plates. “What's up, buttercup?” He smiled. “Expecting desert?” Jesse turned off the water and grabbed a kitchen towel to dry his hands with. He turned around and leaned on the counter. “I don't have any sweets but,” Jesse's voice dropped lower. “I might have something to sate your appetite.”  
  
Hanzo, slightly embarrassed by what he was about to say, huffed and rolled his eyes. “When the pan is too big for the oven nothing can be baked.” Jesse chuckled as he tossed the towel to the counter and turned off the kitchen light.  
  
“You comin'?” Jesse called as he trailed down the hall. Hanzo didn't answer for a few moments. He stared off at the window over the sink, lost in thought. The situation was gamble with his emotions and even as he willed himself to leave he knew what his answer was going to be.  
  
“Coming.” He said finally. He stood and quickly made his way through the hall. Jesse stepped into the bathroom and Hanzo shifted around awkwardly while Jesse brushed his teeth. Afterwards Jesse lead Hanzo into the bedroom with a hand on his lower back.  
  
Hanzo stepped into the bedroom first and, with a sudden surge of confidence, he turned around to close the door behind Jesse. He pressed Jesse's back against the door and slipped his fingers through the holes in Jesse's t-shirt.  
  
The older man gave a grunt and eagerly leaned in when Hanzo pressed their lips together. The kisses quickly turned sloppy. Hanzo grazed the tip of his tongue along Jesse's teeth, delighted to find the taste of mint toothpaste. Embarrassment flashed over Hanzo when he realized Jesse was probably tasting tomatoes and beef.  
  
Jesse's hands found Hanzo's ass and he squeezed while tugging him closer. The man handling heaved a gasp from Hanzo and he started getting too hot under all his clothes. A surge of sensitively pulled between his thighs and a need to rub his clit against something started to take hold of the logical part of his mind.  
  
A disappointed whine slipped from Hanzo's lips as Jesse gently pushed him away and stepped to the side. “Hey, now.” Jesse shot him a look over his shoulder. “I'm just getting more comfortable.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside before kicking off his jeans and falling against the bed.  
  
Hanzo followed suit, crawling on top of Jesse. He let Jesse wrap his arms around him and pull them chest to chest. His fingers scratched gently over Hanzo's back and he pressed a few kisses to Hanzo's forehead. Despite the overwhelming desire for dick, Hanzo found himself content with the chaste cuddling.  
  
“You're heavier than I was expectin'.” Jesse grunted.  
  
He rolled his eyes even though he was sure Jesse couldn't see it. “It's mostly muscle.” Hanzo muttered.  
  
“Ya ain't kidding. Your thighs feel like they could break my ribs here an' now.” Flattered by the comment and amused by Jesse's speech patterns, Hanzo let out a soft chuckle. Jesse quickly asked “What?” and he started pulling Hanzo's pants off.  
  
_Oh. We're definitely doing this, then._  Hanzo thought and smiled dimly as he rolled on his back to help Jesse remove his clothes. He lifted his legs and tugged his pants down past his hips.“I don't understand why you do that, but I like it.” Hanzo answered cryptically.  
  
Jesse got Hanzo out of his pants and underwear, but hesitated while feeling around at the hem of his shirt. “Do what? And...” He tugged lightly at Hanzo's tee. Hanzo sat up, tossing his coat off and pulling his shirt over his head, falling back against the sheets once he was in nothing but his binder.  
  
“You say 'you' but you also say 'ya' and you don't always finish words that end with 'ing'.” Hanzo explained. “You can speak proper English but it's like you forget or just get lazy.”  
  
Jesse gave a shrug as he stood and pulled off his briefs. “I didn't always.” Hanzo felt his lips part as he caught a glimpse of Jesse's cock. “Old habits die hard. Besides, makes me sound cooler than I really am.” He added as he crawled back on the bed, pressing their hips together and softly groaning when his cock found friction against Hanzo's thigh. “What about you?” Jesse asked, propping himself up on one arm while sending his other hand down between Hanzo's legs. “You said you've only lived here five years? Four? Where's your accent?”  
  
Hanzo sighed and closed his eyes as Jesse started to finger him. “Fuck, your fingers are bigger than mine.” He whispered, not wanting to touch on the subject now that it was directed at him. Jesse was rubbing Hanzo's entrance and dipping a few fingers inside, fanning them out every so often to stretch him wider. It was pleasant and made him crave more. Hanzo turned his head away and bit his lip. He peaked one eye open to look up at Jesse and, as he'd hoped, Jesse seemed completely enticed by his expression.  
  
Jesse leaned down, hovering patiently until Hanzo turned his head and brought their lips together. The kisses were passionate and rough. Jesse's thumb abruptly started rubbing at Hanzo's clit, making the younger man gasp. Jesse didn't waste a second and took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Hanzo's mouth.  
  
_He knows what he's doing._  Hanzo thought as he tried to focus on breathing. He was getting too excited and hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until his lungs started to ache. _He's done this a lot. It's practiced._  That thought was much less thrilling to him. The idea that Jesse had even been with someone else, much less multiple, gave Hanzo a flare of jealousy that he couldn't even deny.  
  
Once again Jesse pulled away, but this time Hanzo managed to not make any undignified noises. He watched him retrieve the lube and pop the top open. He moved back in towards Hanzo and dropped two dime-sized blots of lube onto his clit. Hanzo leaned against the pillows as Jesse rubbed the lube over his lips and into his entrance. “That feels terrible.” He grumbled, trying not to shift as he felt the lube slowly sinking deeper into him.  
  
“You'll be thankful for it in a moment.” Jesse said as he sat up and wiped his hand on the sheets. Hanzo bit his lip to try to disguise his excited smile. Jesse leaned over towards the drawer again and snagged a condom to offer it to Hanzo. “Think you can do it now?” He asked while raising an eyebrow and giving a lopsided smirk.  
  
Hanzo gave a soft laugh and took the condom, pulling it out of the package and sitting up to hover over Jesse's cock. “Of course.” There was a small struggle at the tip, but Hanzo managed to roll the plastic down to the base of Jesse's shaft in a timely manner. He poured a few drops of lube on his hand and spread it over Jesse's cock. Hanzo looked at his work with a proud huff. Yes, he had gone home and watched tutorial videos and clearly it paid off.  
  
Jesse motioned for Hanzo to move and took his place against the bed. “Hop on.” Jesse said, patting his thigh. “It'll be easier to get in like this.” Hanzo was still doubtful that they'd be able to get it in at all, but he climbed atop Jesse's hips. “Ready when you are.” Jesse whispered and Hanzo gave a nod. Heart pounding in his chest, he gripped Jesse's cock, aiming it towards his entrance before sinking down.  
  
Hanzo's eyes widened in surprise when Jesse's cock slid inside with no resistance. Jesse tipped his head back and let out a soft groan. The noise made Hanzo's mouth dry and he started to plot ways to pull more of those sounds from the older man. He realized, looking down towards his hips, that he'd have to start moving to get more moans. Jesse was wide, wider than any hairbrush handles Hanzo had used on himself. It stretched his insides delightfully and the position allowed Hanzo to feel inch of Jesse's dick that was stuffed deep.  
  
He braced one hand on Jesse's bicep and the other on one of his pecs. Slowly, he leaned forward and pushed up with his thighs. It was a snail's pace and Hanzo could feel the rim of Jesse's tip dragging across his walls. He left only the head inside before dropping back down and sheathing Jesse's cock fully once more. A guttural groan passed Hanzo's lips and he let his eyes close.  
  
Jesse remained as still as possible beneath Hanzo as the younger man tested the waters. Hanzo was thankful for the patience, as he certainly needed the adjusting period. It was the first time Hanzo hadn't experienced a smudge of pain during sex, and it came as a shock to him. He kept pausing after every motion, expecting stretching pains or a sharp prick of pain from far inside.  
  
None came and as the seconds passed Hanzo became more and more confident. He started moving faster and now he could hear Jesse's breath falter at certain moments and felt him tremble beneath his hands at other times. He peaked one eye open. Jesse's face was red, his eyes squeezed shut, his lips parted, and his eyebrows drawn up in pleasure. It was an expression that made Hanzo nearly shiver with desire. A long forgotten lust for teasing and overwhelming men stirred at the back of his mind, but he forced himself to ignore it. First times should be vanilla, he decided.  
  
He grasped Jesse's wrists, guiding them to his waist before putting his hands back to where they had been. Hanzo was bouncing on his own, his body hot to the touch and both eyes open to watch Jesse's facial expressions. It felt like a powerful position until he muttered “Start helping.” down towards his companion.  
  
Suddenly Hanzo had no control over the situation. Jesse's nails were digging into the skin above his ass and he was lifting Hanzo's hips up just to slam them back down as he thrust upwards. Hanzo tightened his grip in return and braced himself for the ride.  
  
The first few seconds were, admittedly, terrifying. He expected stabbing pains as he was penetrated and burns on his outer lips from a lack of lube. However, as he let out a breath he'd been holding, Hanzo realized every stroke felt good and the lube was preventing any injury.  
  
“God damn.” Jesse's eyes were still closed and he wore a blissed expression. “Any fuckn' clue how tight you are?” Hearing Jesse talk in a low and raspy voice made goosebumps rise on Hanzo's arms.  
  
“Yes, actually.” Hanzo tried to sound dignified, but his words came out as hiccups.  
  
Just has Hanzo started to get comfortable and make soft noises of pleasure, Jesse seemed to think it was time for something more. “Keep the pace.” He commanded as he took one hand off his hips. Hanzo tried his best to continue the rhythm that had been set, but with only one of Jesse's hands to guide him it started to dissipate.  
  
Jesse's free hand moved around one of Hanzo's thighs and he ran his palm over Hanzo's ass. Before he realized what was coming, Jesse's finger slipped inside his ass. Hanzo sucked in a breath that morphed into a drawn out moan. He felt his mouth quiver with the noise and he leaned forward, taking his hand off Jesse's arm to steady himself on the headboard.  
  
They were chest to chest now and Hanzo's moans were being breathed into Jesse's mouth. Jesse leaned up to steal a few sloppy kisses. He pressed his finger back into Hanzo's ass with every upwards thrust. Hanzo felt his jaw fall slack. “Fuck... Holy fuck it feels good.” He whispered as his fingers curled on Jesse's chest.  
  
It took a few seconds for Hanzo to realize Jesse was slowing down. A moment later Jesse stopped moving and pulled out of both Hanzo's holes. He reached up, thankfully not with the finger that had been in Hanzo's ass, and cupped the younger man's cheek.  
  
“You okay?” He whispered in a gentle tone and delayed Hanzo's response by pressing their lips together for a shallow and slow kiss.  
  
A bit dazed, Hanzo didn't say anything for a few seconds. It was a strange thing to ask in the middle of sex. Hanzo guessed it was justified after what had happened last time. He took a moment to be sure that he was in fact okay, and then gave a nod “I want more.” He answered quietly.  
  
Jesse tipped his head to the side. “Wanna switch ta missionary?” Jesse's soft words were gone and he was once again talking lowly.  
  
Hanzo nodded. Then he shook his head. “Wait, yeah.” He brought one hand up to his face and rubbed at his eyes. “Please do.” He grumbled while falling onto his side. He rolled onto his back and parted his legs.  
  
Seemingly unbothered by Hanzo mixing up what he was trying to say, a wolfish grin spread over Jesse's lips. He ran his hands along Hanzo's sides as he crowded over Hanzo. Hanzo parted his lips for a kiss, but Jesse took another approach. He fastened his teeth onto the side of Hanzo's throat.  
  
Hanzo let out a sigh, closed his eyes, and dug his fingernails into Jesse's back. Jesse's hands roamed downwards. They graced over Hanzo's stomach and legs, coming to a stop at his feet. Jesse grasped Hanzo's ankles in each hand, lifting them up and guiding them to his hips. Hanzo wrapped his legs around Jesse's back, now posed like a monkey clinging to a branch.  
  
Jesse started gentle and slow. Each thrust became a bit faster and a bit deeper. Hanzo reached his arms above his head and fisted his hands in the sheets. The position put an ache in Hanzo's back, but it was dwarfed by the feeling of Jesse's tip bumping against his sweet spot with every thrust.  
  
Hanzo turned his head to the side, feeling himself gaze off into space while letting out little airy sighs as Jesse thrusted into him. He could hear Jesse's balls slapping against his ass and smiled to himself after each noise that escaped Jesse's mouth.  
  
“I'm gonna come.” Hanzo whispered, his voice shaking with every word. “Me too.” Jesse practically groaned against Hanzo's lips. They both closed their eyes and Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse's neck for support as they kissed through the pleasure.  
  


Hanzo didn't come, Jesse had stopped thrusting just a few seconds too soon. That didn't stop the lazy smile that pulled on Hanzo's quivering lips or the happy giggle that almost escaped his throat.  
  
Jesse's breath was hot against the shell of his ear. They were both panting heavily, trying to recover from the exertion. Hanzo felt muscular arms embraced him, pulling him up against Jesse's chest. A content sigh came from Hanzo and he smiled to himself as he leaned his head against the older man. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Jesse's pounding heart and the fast beat in his own ears.  
  
Once again, the alien, but not unwelcome, urge for cuddling and kissing washed over him. He reached up, wanting to hold on to Jesse. He was aware of his hands trembling as they grasped for the older man's chest. _Adrenaline._  Hanzo decided the cause of the shaking. Tonight had been a first for Hanzo, as well as a few first-in-awhiles. It would take a long time for him to think of the recent events and not get slightly giddy at the memory.  
  
He wrapped his arms around Jesse's neck and nuzzled against his collarbone. Thankfully, Jesse was being careful not to crush Hanzo and was still mostly propped up on his knees. The cuddling only lasted a few minuets. Jesse pulled away sooner than Hanzo would have liked. “C'mon, let's get cleaned up and then _pass tha hell out._ ” The older man grumbled.  
  
Getting clean sounded more appealing than falling asleep covered in sweat and lube. Hanzo offered his hand out to Jesse, who took a hold of it and helped pull Hanzo to his feet. The pair returned to the bathroom and Hanzo was disappointed by Jesse's definition of 'cleaned up'. No shower, just baby wipes and a sink to wash their hands in.  
  
And a toothbrush. “There's a spare toothbrush under the sink. You're free to it if you don't mind using my toothpaste.” Jesse offered while drying his hands off.  
  
“You could have offered it to me before you went in for sloppy seconds on my hamburger.” Hanzo muttered as he crouched down and started looking for it. Finding the brush didn't take any time compared to how long Hanzo struggled with the packaging. Once Hanzo was wetting the bristles under the sink, Jesse was leaving the room.  
  
“Can I take a shower?” Hanzo called after him, still uncomfortable with the sweat pooled on the back of his legs.  
  
“Yeah.” Hanzo could hear the exhaustion in his voice Jesse stopped in his tracks and turned back around. “Here.” He muttered as he pulled the shower curtain back. “Hot,” Jesse explained, turning the knob. “cold. Pulling it out turns the shower head on, pushing it back in turns it off.”  
  
Hanzo had abandoned attempts at brushing his teeth to watch. “Thanks.” He said, pressing a kiss to Jesse's cheek. Jesse gave a happy hum and walked back out of the room. Hanzo started the water, brushed his teeth while waiting for it to warm up, scrubbed himself down as best he could with as little of Jesse's soap as possible, and finally unceremoniously took a piss.  
  
He pulled his binder back on and made way for the bedroom. Jesse looked like he was already asleep. He tried to be quiet as he approached, but once he laid down it was clear that Jesse was awake. Hanzo laid on his side and Jesse mirrored it, wrapping his arms around Hanzo and pulling him against his chest.  
  
The mattress and pillow were soft beneath him, the sheets and blankets were fluffy and warm, and Jesse's arms were wrapped securely around his back. He felt safe and comfortable, two things that were often fleeting for him. He closed his eyes and nuzzled a smudge closer to Jesse.  
  
Hanzo slowed his breathing and tried to clear his mind, but sleep wouldn't come to him. Last time he'd spent the night he had been worn out enough that falling asleep was easy, but now he was wide awake and felt hyper sensitive to every noise and movement. Hanzo assumed Jesse had drifted off, but that was proven wrong when he started talking. “You're wigglin' like a cat.” Jesse tipped his head down to brush his nose over the top of Hanzo's head. “Something I can do for ya?”  
  
“Like a cat?” Hanzo echoed. “Don't you mean worm?”  
  
“Have you ever tried to hold a cat for more than ten seconds?”  
  
Smiling to himself, Hanzo shrugged. “Granted, I suppose.”  
  
“Really, though.” Jesse went on, moving a hand up to pet the back parts of Hanzo's hair. “Do you need something?”  
  
Hanzo shook his head. “No. This is just... strange to me still.” He wasn't sure how much was appropriate to share, so he started small. “Besides you, I haven't shared a bed with someone in a long time.”  
  
Jesse gave an understanding sound and stilled his hand. “Makes sense. We did move rather fast. Just tell me if you're uncomfortable. We can stop.”  
  
_I'd miss it too much._  Hanzo figured it was best if he kept that thought to himself. “No. This is fine. I'm just adjusting.” Jesse didn't say anything else and Hanzo focused on staying still. It was just moments before Jesse started snoring that Hanzo himself dozed off.

 

»»------------>  
  


Hanzo didn't have to look at a clock to know he'd woke far too early. His eyelids felt heavy and it was a struggle keeping them open. Multiple attempts to fall asleep failed and finally Hanzo hauled himself out of bed. He glanced around the bedroom in search of his shirt, but it was too dark and he didn't want to risk waking Jesse up by using a light.  
  
He slipped out of the bedroom and made a stop by the bathroom. It didn't take long to find what he was looking for: one of Jesse's shirts. He kicked the door closed and stripped out of his binder before pulling the over sized t-shirt on. It wasn't a sentimental or cutesy thing as the coat had been; rather a safety precaution he should have taken sooner.  
  
He quietly made his way to the kitchen and turned the light above the sink on. As he'd hoped, his phone was on the kitchen table. He glanced over the messages Genji had sent and gnawed at the inside of his cheek as he considered driving home. While the familiarity of his own bed was alluring, the idea of sleeping without Jesse at his side made him sure he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
Hanzo sat his phone back down on the table and glanced around the dimly lit kitchen. Since he'd stopped working there had been a lot of boring days at the house. Boredom had driven him to eating, and his stomach had gotten used to constant snacking. The habit had been made and tonight wasn't any exception to his nearly constant hunger. As quietly as possible, Hanzo began snooping through cupboards and the pantry.  
  
The most appetizing thing he found was microwaveable mac and cheese. He grabbed a bag and quickly read over the instructions. After pouring the noodles into a bowl and starting the microwave he turned to the refrigerator, leaning on the door as he glanced over the beverage options. Most of them made him curl his lip.  
  
Beer, soda, 'healthy' drinks that were really just colored sugar. The options set out on the counter weren't much better. Vodka, rum, tequila, and whiskey. Not a single bottled water or carton of orange juice in sight. _The water from the sink is probably disgusting._  Hanzo thought, giving the fosset a glare. _It'll still feel better than chasing noodles with vodka._  
  
Cold hands slipped their way under the rim of Hanzo's shirt and he nearly jumped out of his skin. He lurched forward and spun around in a quick panic. Jesse stood with his hands up submissively, looking just as surprised as Hanzo felt. He practically hissed at the older man and clutched a hand over his racing heart. “Don't do that!” Hanzo's embarrassment turned to anger and made his words come out much harsher than intended.  
  
Luckily, Jesse didn't seem to care. “Do what?” He gave Hanzo a smug grin as he closed the refrigerator door for him. “Touch your hips or scare the living shit out of you?”  
  
Hanzo huffed, faintly grinning. He turned back towards the microwave as it stopped humming and started beeping. He leaned on the tips of his toes and retrieved his meal. As he mixed the powered cheese in Jesse came up behind him once more and wrapped his arms around Hanzo's waist. It was allowed this time, as was Jesse resting his chin on Hanzo's shoulder.  
  
“This mine?” He asked, pinching the back of Hanzo's shirt.  
  
“I didn't want to wake you up while searching for my shirt.” Hanzo explained as he stirred his meal.  
  
“I woke up anyways. When you weren't there I was worried you left.” Jesse mumbled.  
  
Hanzo gave a shrug. “I considered it.”  
  
“Mph.” Jesse didn't sound pleased. “Why didn't you?”  
  
“I was hungry.”  
  
“You still have the card, don't ya? Couldn't ya have picked something up or eaten at home?” Though they were questions, Jesse said them in a way that sounded like statements.  
  
Hanzo furrowed his brows. “Are you against me eating your precious microwave meals?”  
  
“Nah. I just know that ain't why you stayed.”  
  
_If it's so obvious why are you interrogating me over it?_  
  
Jesse nodded towards the bowl. “You gonna come back to bed with that?”  
  
Hanzo shook his head. “Eating in bed is not only unsafe but absolutely disgusting.”  
  
“Sicking your tongue up a pee hole is disgusting too, but I still did it and you kissed me afterwards.”  
  
“Actually, you stuffed your tongue up my blood, lube, and baby hole.” Hanzo said as he pulled away and made for the couch. Jesse chuckled softly from behind him and followed.  
  
Hanzo sat with his legs crossed and the bowl in his lap while Jesse leaned in extremely close from beside him. “Turn the tv on.” Hanzo demanded between bites.  
  
Jesse hummed as he reached for the remote and obeyed. “What'd ya wanna watch?”  
  
Hanzo extended one hand and Jesse placed the remote in it. While Hanzo switched to the guide channel Jesse wrapped both his arms around Hanzo's waist and pressed his face between Hanzo's neck and shoulder.  
  
“You're making it really hard to eat.” Hanzo mumbled.  
  
“You're making it hard to go back to sleep.” Jesse retorted.  
  
“You are not a child and I am not your favorite toy. You can sleep without me.” He snapped through a mouthful of cheesy noodles.  
  
Jesse's grip tightened and Hanzo could hear him smile as he pressed his lips to his ear. “You _are_  my favorite toy.” If the statement alone wasn't enough, Jesse's bedroom voice made Hanzo lose his breath for a second. Both ashamed and turned on, he elbowed Jesse in the chest.  
  
“Get the blanket behind us. I'm cold.”  
  
To his surprise, Jesse pulled himself off Hanzo and made his way back to the bedroom. He returned a moment later with his jacket in hand. “Here. Looks better on you, anyhow.” Jesse said as he draped his coat over Hanzo's shoulders.

  
_He doesn't want it back._  Hanzo hid his smile by stuffing a few noodles in his mouth. Jesse attached himself to Hanzo's hip once more, making the younger man roll his eyes. “No it doesn't. It's five sizes too big for me.” He placed his bowl on the coffee table before leaning back against the couch.  
  
The older man leaned back with Hanzo, resting his forehead against his collarbone. “Ouch.” Jesse grumbled.  
  
“That's what I'm saying. Do you think I look best when you can only see my face and calves?” Hanzo challenged, leaning into Jesse's side and tipping his head down to look him in the face.  
  
“And feet. Don't forget the feet.”  
  
“What makes you like it so much?” Hanzo pressed.  
  
Jesse straightened his back out and pulled Hanzo closer until he was practically in his lap. He looked down at Hanzo and raised an eyebrow. “What made you stay?”  
  
Their noses were close enough to touch and it was so quiet he could hear himself inhaling. He glanced down towards Jesse's mouth, finding it was easier than making eye-contact. The moment felt unreal. If it was anything closer to a romantic movie they'd soon make out and confess a mutual love for each other.

 

But it wasn't a movie and Hanzo wasn't in love, at least not yet. The air was thick as Jesse waited for an answer and Hanzo decided to clear it the only way he knew how. He pulled the hair band off his wrist and combed his fingers through his hair. He gathered up as much as he could and tied it back with the band, blowing the free strands out of his face as he slipped off the couch. “Because I was hungry,” Hanzo shot a devilish smirk up to Jesse. “and you promised me dessert.” Hanzo muttered while kneeling on the floor in front of Jesse.

  
“Wooah there, partner.” Jesse cupped Hanzo's jaw and tipped his head back. Hanzo looked up expectantly, worried he'd overstepped a boundary or had tried to initiate something when Jesse wasn't in the mood. Jesse's thumb pressed at the side of Hanzo's mouth. Obediently Hanzo parted his lips and grazed his tongue along the pad of Jesse's thumb. The finger was pushed in his mouth a bit more forcefully than expected, but Hanzo quickly started sucking on it.  
  
He was delighted to see Jesse staring him down like he was a juicy sirloin. That night was one of the few times being looked at in such a way managed to excite Hanzo. Jesse pulled his hand away and instead pressed his knee to Hanzo's chest and gently applied pressure until Hanzo scooted back a few inches. “Sit tight. I'll be right back.” Jesse mumbled as he stood and stalked off towards the bedroom. “And while I'm gone why don't you get something to wash the cheese down?” Jesse called from down the hall.

 

 _Right._ Hanzo got to his feet and scurried to the kitchen with the bowl. He quickly rinsed it out and then grabbed a glass. He filled it with water from the sink and swallowed a few gulps. By the time was back on his knees of the living room carpet Jesse was still not back. A few moments later he peaked his head out from the room and called Hanzo's name. “How kinky are ya feelin'?” Jesse asked.  
  
He was just barely visible over the back of the couch and Hanzo noticed the suspicious way his hands were behind his back. He pondered the question for a moment. The idea of Jesse strapping a ring gag over his face came to mind and Hanzo blushed as he imagined the scenario. “Very.” He called.  
  
Jesse stepped out into the hallway and made for the couch. Hanzo tipped his head, trying to catch a glimpse of what he was hiding. He stopped a few feet from where Hanzo was seated..”You said ya like rough, yeah?” Jesse prompted glancing between Hanzo and the couch.  
  
“At times.” He shuffled his knees anxiously, feeling himself starting to drip.  
  
“Is this one of those times?” Jesse asked.  
  
“Do whatever you want until I say stop.”  
  
Jesse dropped what he was holding on the coffee table and Hanzo craned his neck to try to get a clear view. He could make out the shape of a lube bottle, Jesse's cigars, a lighter, and a box. Before he could ask Jesse tapped Hanzo's thigh with his foot. “Bend over. Face to the cushion.”  
  
Hanzo braced his hands on the edge of the couch and leaned over until his chest brushed the leather seat. He heard the sound of a cap opening and he felt his heart start to race. Holding his breath, he listened for signs of what Jesse was doing. All was silent save for the carpet hissing under Jesse as he knelt behind Hanzo.  
  
He felt a finger press against his asshole and took in a sharp breath. Jesse spread the slick around the rim before slipping one of his fingers inside and twisting it like he'd done earlier that night. Hanzo closed his eyes and focused on the pleasant feeling. “So fuckin' tight.” Jesse sounded out of breath and Hanzo realized just how easily he could get off on praises like that. Feeling confident, he clenched down on Jesse's digit.  
  
Cursing under his breath, Jesse retracted his finger and slapped his palm against Hanzo's ass. The blow wasn't hard yet Hanzo found himself winded from it. “Do that again.” He demanded before he could fully process what part of it turned him on. He dug his nails into his palm as Jesse smacked the other cheek. “Again.” He hissed quietly.  
  
“Another time.” Jesse said as he ran his palm over Hanzo's spine. “I'll lay you across my lap or whip you with a belt.” He promised. Hanzo bit his bottom lip at the mental imagine. “But for now,” Jesse continued, noises giving away that he had retrieved the box and was opening it. “Lets get you ready for your treat.”  
  
Hanzo closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the sofa. He waved his hips absentmindedly as he thought of the spanking scenario. He tried to imagine the leather cushion against his stomach was Jesse's knees and of the low tone asking him to count every spank.  
  
He lifted his head up from the seat with a surprised gasp as his daydream collapsed around him and something solid and wet pressed against his hole. It wasn't Jesse's finger his time and Hanzo turned his head to try and get a look at it. Most of it was out of view, but Hanzo could make out the base of a black plug in Jesse's hand.  
  
“You okay? Tell me if there ain't enough lube. This should feel nothing but good.” Jesse said while continuing to slide the butt plug inside Hanzo's ass at an agonizingly slow pace. Hanzo nodded, unable to form words. He started to pant as he formed a mental image of what his hole looked like being stretched out over the toy.  
  
He was right, it felt good. Unusual, but still good. Jesse pressed the plug in to the hilt and gave it a few pats. Once he was satisfied with his work he placed his hands on Hanzo's hips and guided him back into sitting on his knees. Hanzo pressed his heel against the base of the plug and sighed softly at the pleasant prodding.  
  
Jesse stood up and grabbed a cigar from the table. He lit it as he settled down on the couch once again and spread his legs. Hanzo inched forward until his shoulders brushed Jesse's thighs. His cock was half hard and laying pathetically against his upper thigh. Hanzo watched it, on the verge of drooling while he waited for permission or guidance.  
  
The older man leaned back into the couch. He took a puff from his cigar with one hand while lazily lounging his free arm over the back of the sofa. Hanzo's eyes caught on the cigar and he licked his lips as he watched Jesse inhale. “Blow it on my face.” He talked too low to be heard. “Blow it on my face.” He repeated, this time not only louder but with more enthusiasm.  
  
He caught Jesse's eye and the other man lifted an eyebrow. He exhaled the smoke from where he was, much to Hanzo's disappointment. “The smoke or my load?” Jesse questioned with a sly smile placed on his lips.  
  
Hanzo rolled his eyes and let out a quick, amused huff of air. “Both.” Not wanting to wait anymore, he leaned forward and trailed his tongue up Jesse's shaft. The familiar smell hit him immediately. It was a mix of salt and sweat and it left him wanting. He gripped the base to steady it while slipping the tip of his tongue into the urethra opening. He glanced up and caught Jesse's eye. The older man looked both horrified and turned on. It brought a smile to Hanzo's lips and he hid it by taking Jesse's tip in his mouth. He used one hand to guide it towards his cheek.  
  
A few seconds later Hanzo pulled away, coughing and trying to blink away the water that had formed in his eyes. Jesse reached out, almost dropping his cigar. He gripped Hanzo's jaw and forced him to look back up. “Ya' okay? Jesus Christ, that wasn't even hardly all of the tip.”  
  
Pride hurt, Hanzo jerked his head away. “I'm fine.” He grumbled while rubbing at the side of his mouth that had been stretched uncomfortably. “It's your big fat head causing problems again.”  
  
Jesse chuckled. “This is one scenario where that's less of an insult an' more of a compliment.” He sat silent to give Hanzo time to recover. Once Hanzo met his gaze again he offered some assistance. “If you wanna keep trying I could lay down. It'd be easier than takin' it at this angle.”  
  
“You know a lot about sucking dick, huh?” Hanzo jeered in an unamused tone.  
  
Jesse shrugged. “I've woken up to a sore throat or two.”  
  
“Well? Lay down already.” Hanzo snapped, waving his hands in a 'shoo' motion.  
  
“Alright, alright.” Jesse reclined over the couch. He pulled the ashtray closer to the edge of the coffee table and held his arm out over it. Hanzo straddled Jesse's legs and hunched over.  
  
He was right, once again. It was much easier this way. Hanzo's lips wrapped around the tip with ease and he gently bobbed. He sunk down slightly further and ran his tongue along the underside, which pulled a sharp inhale from Jesse. Hanzo went further only to come up a second later coughing and spitting once again.  
  
“Maybe this just ain't your thing, Han. That's fine, we don't...”  
  
He stopped listening to what Jesse was saying. _Han._  He could hardly remember the last time he'd been called that. He knew exactly who the last person to use that nickname had been. His ex. Hearing the pet name stung almost as much as the memories of a failed relationship that resulted in multiple unhealthy coping mechanisms.  
  
“You listening?” Jesse asked, snapping his fingers above Hanzo's head.  
  
“Don't ever fucking call me that again. And don't snap at me.” He stated flatly before taking Jesse's cock in his mouth once again. He worked his hand over Jesse's base and twisted his head as he sunk down. A few inches in and he reeled back to cough. A second later he forced himself back down.  
  
He grabbed Jesse's nearest hand and guided it to the back of his head. Jesse hesitated, but followed the silent command and forced Hanzo down. Hanzo closed his eyes, feeling his throat contract. The tip of Jesse's cock rammed against the back of Hanzo's throat. He coughed around Jesse's cock, but didn't retreat. He felt his lungs tighten as cigar smoke floated closer to his face and Hanzo let out a low groan.  
  
He was able to hold the position for a few seconds before pulling off and sputtering. As soon as he caught his breath, Hanzo opened his mouth again. Jesse's hands gripped both sides of his face and guided him away from his dick. “Oh, no you don't.” He said softly while shifting his legs to shield his cock. “That's enough.”  
  
Hanzo let out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry.” He muttered as he sat up and wiped at his mouth.”I've never been good at this.” He watched Jesse sit up and put his cigar out on the ashtray.  
  
“Ya' didn't do bad. Just gotta work on that reflex.” Jesse encouraged. “Here,” He said as he moved out from under Hanzo. “I'll be right back,” He went back to the bedroom and came back wearing his boxers and tossing Hanzo's pair to the couch.  
  
Hanzo caught his underwear in hand and glanced over them. “Should I leave the plug in?” He asked.  
  
Jesse let out a low whistle. “If ya' feel like it. I sure as hell won't complain.” He laid down across the couch and opened his arms in invitation. “Com'ere”  
  
Hanzo stood up and slipped the boxers on and obeyed, laying down on top of Jesse and resting his head on his chest. Jesse wrapped his arms around Hanzo's hips and clasped his hands on his back. “Sorry bout that.” He gave Hanzo a soft squeeze. “It's supposed to be fun.”  
  
“I was having fun.” Hanzo muttered.  
  
Jesse let out a sigh while moving around in an attempt to find a comfortable position.“Yeah, well, watching you asphyxiate yourself to death on my dick, while a lovely sight, just ain't that fun ta me.”  
  
Hanzo could feel exhaustion sinking back into him. He closed his eyes and tucked his chin against his collar bone. Jesse shifted beneath him and cupped Hanzo's jaw, tipping his head back. “Don't fall asleep like that. Your neck will hurt like hell in the mornin.”  
  
“My back will hurt if we fall asleep on this thing.” Hanzo muttered, already annoyed by the way the leather rubbed against his legs.  
  
Jesse seemed to think the conversation was some sort of game. “Your ass will hurt if you fall asleep with that plug in.”  
  
Hanzo let out a huff. “We can fix all of the aforementioned problems by taking it out and then going to bed.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jesse sat up. “You're right. Warmer there, too.” He let Hanzo loose and got to his feet. Despite making the suggestion, Hanzo wasn't entirely willing to move. He brought his knees to his chest and watched as Jesse walked back into the bedroom. Without the older man's body heat a chill ran over Hanzo. It put him on his feet and trailing after Jesse. He stopped by the kitchen, snagging his phone and taking it with him.  
  
Jesse was sprawled out on his stomach and Hanzo took the chance to climb on top of him. He wrapped his arms around the older man's hips and pressed his cheek against his shoulder blade. The position brought a dirty thought to mind. “Have you ever done anal?” Hanzo asked. While waiting for a reply he turned his head and bit lightly at Jesse's shoulder.  
  
“What do ya' mean?” Jesse muttered from below him, not even flinching at the nibble.  
  
Impatience flared in him and was clear in his tone. “Sex. Have you ever had anal sex?”  
  
Jesse huffed. “I understood that part.” He propped himself up on his elbows and glanced over his shoulder at Hanzo. “Yeah. With both sexes. Never bottomed though.”  
  
Hanzo perked with interest. “Really?” Having an experienced partner had been a welcome change, but he couldn't deny how much he liked the idea of taking Jesse's virginity.  
  
“Why?” Jesse asked while slowly rolling onto his back. Hanzo gave a quiet hiss as he slipped away to avoid being crushed. Once he was on his back, Jesse looked over to Hanzo and lifted an eyebrow. “Got something you wanna ask?”  
  
That was more forward than Hanzo had expected to be. He couldn't find the right words to string together, so instead he focused on blinking slowly to mask any of facial movements that might give away his embarrassment. “No.” Hanzo said flatly as he settled on his side and lifted Jesse's arm.  
  
Jesse wrapped his arm around Hanzo and pulled him snug against his side. “In your own time, then.” He leaned in closer to Hanzo and reached around his back. Hanzo gasped as the plug was ripped out. “Sorry, should I have gone slower?” Jesse asked, rolling onto his back and setting the plug on the night stand.  
  
“That was fine, it's just tender.” Hanzo said softly as he scooted up to Jesse's side. Not wanting to get a face full of armpit, Hanzo moved down until he could press his face against Jesse's ribs. He wrapped one arm over Jesse's waist and reached the other behind him, holding onto Jesse's hand. Sleep quickly welcomed him.  
  


»»------------>  
  
He turned his head slightly just to peak over at the window, but that was all it took to get Jesse's attention. “Was wonderin' when you were gonna wake.” He muttered before pressing a few kisses to the side of Hanzo's neck. “Was getting' kinda lonely.” Hanzo smiled faintly while looking up to face Jesse.  
  
The two shared a handful of chaste kisses before Hanzo pulled away and started using his hands to search for his phone. “What time is it?” He muttered over his shoulder.  
  
Jesse yawned loudly and Hanzo could feel the bed shift as the older man sat up. “Eight in the mornin'.”  
  
He checked his messages quickly while Jesse grabbed clothes off the floor. Genji had sent multiple good humored texts, the gist of them being 'who are you fucking' and 'I hope you're not dead'. Hanzo sent him a reply to confirm that he was still among the living. A second later Hanzo jumped in surprise as his phone started playing a loud tune.  
  
Not wanting to talk in front of Jesse, Hanzo quickly jumped to his feet and scurried out of the bedroom. He got to the front door and touched the handle before taking a second to glance down. He was still half naked. With a quick turn Hanzo sat down at the kitchen table and swiped at the answer button.  
  
“What?” He hissed into the phone, casting a glance behind him to make sure Jesse wasn't in earshot.  
  
“I wish I was as much of a morning person as you.” Genji's tone was nearly flat, but a glint of humor was present.  
  
Hanzo silently admitted that the jab was funny. “Genji I can't talk right now.”  
  
“Don't you want to hear about my doctor's appointment?”  
  
He paused. Hanzo glanced over his shoulder again. The bathroom door was closed and he could faintly hear the sound of running water. He spoke again once he was certain their conversation wouldn't be overheard. “...Okay.”  
  
Genji detailed the event, going off topic a few times but eventually saying that the doctor's final statement was that they'd need lab work to diagnose anything. It left Hanzo shifting in his seat from anxiety. “Go ahead and set it up.” He demanded as soon as Genji had finished talking.  
  
His brother gave a nervous chuckle. “Ahhh... Yeah, I have a whole nine dollars in my back account.”  
  
“Stop spending it on hookers and blow you dumb fuck.” Hanzo retorted, smiling faintly.  
  
Genji's answer was quick. “It's hookers and heroin, Hanzo. Get it right.”  
  
“I'll pay for it. Just tell me how much it is and I'll give you cash for when you go in.” Hanzo offered, knowing fully that Jesse would be the one paying for the appointment.  
  
“Alright.. Are you gonna tell me where the money for it is coming from?”  
  
Hanzo sat silent for a second.  
  
“Didn't think so.” Genji muttered.  
  
Hanzo heard the creek of a door behind him and he sat up a bit straighter. “I have to go.” He shot a glance over his shoulder. “Love you.” He muttered before quickly ending the call. A hand started scratching gently at the top of his head and Hanzo jumped in surprise the second time that morning. Still, he found his eyes closing and leaned into the touch.  
  
“Caller so important ya' didn't even put clothes on?” Jesse asked while combing his fingers through Hanzo's hair. He knew the older man was indirectly asking who he'd been talking to. It was annoying that he was prying, but Hanzo couldn't deny the little bit of him that hoped Jesse was jealous. Even if the idea did excite him, Hanzo wasn't going to lie or dodge questions just to know if Jesse was getting possessive.  
  
“My brother.”  
  
Jesse gave a grunt of acknowledgment. A moment of silence passed while he petted Hanzo. It was a peaceful moment Hanzo was enjoying until Jesse cleared his throat and spoke again. “My balls are fuckin' freezing.”  
  
Hanzo snorted. “Back to bed?”

  
Jesse pulled his hand from Hanzo's hair and the wooden floor shifted audibly under the older man. “Nah, got a headache from layin' down. You're welcome to, though.” He called over his shoulder.  
  
Practically aching for an intimate embrace, Hanzo wasn't going anywhere without Jesse. He turned his head to watch as Jesse trailed to the living room. He could just barely hear the sound of him settling against the sofa's leather over the bird calls from outside.  
  


He followed like a lost duckling, as he'd done most of the time spent there. Hanzo settled beside Jesse and leaned over to rest his head on his chest. Jesse snagged the blanket that had been on the back of the couch and pulled over them. He wrapped one arm around Hanzo's waist and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Hanzo closed his eyes and a content sigh left his lips.  
  
Hanzo could easily remember when waking up beside and cuddling with a lover had been the norm. Once it was over it had been hard adjusting to being alone, but getting back into it was possibly the easiest thing he'd experienced.  
  
He massaged his fingertips into Jesse's sides while staring out the sliding glass doors through partially open eyes. One of his fingers traced over a risen mole and Hanzo prodded at it while watching birds hop around in the pale sunlight. Jesse didn't seem to care. He started gently scratching Hanzo's back and rested his head on top of Hanzo's.  
  
Jesse broke the silence. “So, Pokemon. Tell me about it. I still don't really understand it.”  
  
Hanzo was surprised by the conversation starter, but found himself excited at the opportunity to talk about the game. “You really never played it? What kind of childhood did you have?” Hanzo asked, tipping his head back to peek up at Jesse.  
  
“Not much of one.”  
  
“Obviously.” Hanzo paused to think. “I don't know where to start. There's a lot to the game.” He said while reaching out to brush a hand through Jesse's hair. It wasn't soft and there were small knots at the end of almost every strand. He absentmindedly started working his fingers through the knots while talking. “Basically you capture animals and make them fight other animals for money. It's fucked up when you explain it but they make it seem less shitty in the game.”  
  
Jesse nodded at the end of each of Hanzo's sentences to assure him he was listening and he settled his hands on Hanzo's hips. “There's different types of animals- Pokemon. Too many to list. The first one you get is either fire, water, or grass.”  
  
“Which one do you get?” Jesse interjected.  
  
Hanzo shrugged. “Usually water, but if the water type is ugly that generation I go with which ever is the cutest. You get a team of six Pokemon and level them up until you beat all the AI. That's the basics.”  
  
“And you said there's nothing you're passionate about.” Jesse had started smiling while listening to Hanzo talk. “You sure sound like you could talk about this for awhile.” Hanzo shrugged even though he knew Jesse had a point. “Go on, please. Tell me more about the game or tell me about times you've played it. Or both.”  
  
He shook his head. “It'll be boring to someone who isn't really into the game.”  
  
Jesse brought a hand up and clasped it over Hanzo's. “Keep going. I can tell it means a lot to you and I want to hear you enthuse about it, even if it doesn't interest me.” He lightly encouraged Hanzo before pressing a kiss to his knuckles.  
  
That had possibly been one of the kindest things Hanzo had ever heard. It drove him to decide he wasn't going to keep trying to avoid romantic feelings for the older man. I _f I end up liking him and it makes me embarrass myself, oh well. I'll get over it._  He tried not to smile as the thought about the small hints towards dating that Jesse had dropped earlier that night.  
  
Hanzo continued explaining, timidly at first but his love for the game got the better of him and time passed as he filled Jesse in on all the different versions of the game. He fetched his DS from his car and a handful of hours slipped by as he leaned against Jesse's side and explained to him what each of his Pokemon were, how the battles worked, how the badges worked, what all you could do in towns, how to obtain shoes and bikes, and a multitude of other information.  
  
The conversation finally died along with the battery on the DS. “Thanks for that.” Hanzo muttered as he tossed his DS to the floor beside the couch.  
  
“Hm?” Jesse sounded genuinely confused. “ You're the one filling me in.”  
  
“For listening to all that. No one has ever done that before.” Hanzo clarified.  
  
Jesse gently placed his fingers under Hanzo's jaw and tipped his head back so he could steal a few kisses. “If talking about something you love makes you happy then listening to it makes me happy.”  
  
Hanzo blinked up at him. He'd never taken the time to listen to other people ramble if it wasn't interesting to him. Realizing how good it felt to be heard, Hanzo decided to try listening.“What's something you love?”  
  
“Mmh... I could tell you a lot about Clint Eastwood movies.”  
  
Hanzo leaned his head against Jesse's shoulder. “Please do.” His fingers trembled slightly as he reached out and grabbed one of Jesse's hands. His heart was pounding nervously, worried about making a bold move and getting rejected, but his pulse began to slow as Jesse twined their fingers and started spilling stories of cowboys.  
  
»»------------>  
  
Hanzo was stirred from his sleep by Jesse shifting below him. He opened his eyes and glanced around. Jesse was wiggling and grasping for the TV remote that sat on the coffee table just a few inches out of his grasp. Hanzo lifted his leg and aimed it at the remote, kicking it to the floor.  
  
“Hey!” Jesse barked, letting his arm fall in defeat.  
  
Hanzo closed his eyes with a satisfied smirk. He nuzzled against Jesse's collarbone. “You woke me up.” He mumbled.  
  
“Just wanted to watch the twelve o'clock news.” Jesse murmured softly.  
  
Hanzo sat up with a start. “It's twelve?” He glanced around in a panic. He pushed himself up and jogged over to the kitchen table. Checking his phone confirmed that, yes, it was twelve o'clock. “Fuck.” Hanzo hissed as he whipped around and made for Jesse's bedroom.  
  
“What's wrong?” Jesse's voice echoed from the hall.  
  
Hanzo sunk to his knees and started scowering the floor for all of his clothes. “My psychiatrist is expecting me at one!” He shouted as he balled all of his clothes against his chest. He noticed Jesse come into the room and start digging through his dresser. Hanzo didn't have the time to question it as he was starting to panic over not seeing his other sock.  
  
“Here,” Jesse stepped closer to him and offered a t-shirt to him. “Your shirt is dirty and this one is too small for me now, anyhow.” Hanzo looked it over. The shirt was black with white lines that made the shape of a buck. The words 'shut the buck up' framed the deer's head.  
  
“That shirt is horrible.” Hanzo stated. He reached out and pulled it to his chest with the rest of his clothes.“If I wear this I'll also need your jacket so no one can see what the shirt says.”  
  
“Take my whole damn closet why don't cha?” Jesse teased.  
  
“You're the one offering me your clothes and telling me I look cute in them.”  
  
“You do.” Jesse said, almost softly. He had his arms folded over his chest and he was watching Hanzo with a soft gaze.  
  
Hanzo cast a smile over his shoulder. He snagged his other sock and went to the bathroom. He changed clothes as quickly as he could and went over a list of all his belongings with Jesse to make sure had everything. “I'll walk you out.” Jesse offered, letting Hanzo take the lead and following him out the door.  
  
The wind was harsh and the cold was making Hanzo's ears and nose sting but he found himself wanting to stay by Jesse rather than seek coverage in the car. He reached out and pulled himself into a hug with Jesse. The older man wrapped his arms around Hanzo, who was trying to warm his face against Jesse's chest, and gave him an affectionate squeeze.  
  
“You're really great, Jesse.” Hanzo muttered once feeling was starting to return to his nose.  
  
“Awh.” He sounded genuinely touched. “Thank ya, sweetheart. You are, too.”  
  
Hanzo closed his eyes, listening to Jesse's heart beating. “When can I spend the night with you again?”  
  
“Hmm.” Jesse held him a bit tighter and dipped his head down to nuzzle against the top of Hanzo's head. “I have to go on a business trip. Leave this Sunday and won't be back till January.”  
  
Hanzo had to refrain from digging his nails into Jesse's back.  
  
“But, we could always use Skype or something of the sort to do video calls... if, uh, that's something you'd want.”  
  
_Of course I want that._  Hanzo gave a defeated shrug. “I don't have a webcam and the mic on my laptop is busted.” He muttered, tipping his head back to look up at Jesse.  
  
“Order a new one. New laptop, get a USB webcam, and a headset or an actual microphone while you're at it. I'll find some and send you the links if you're not sure what you're looking for.”  
  
“Are you fucking kidding? Just,” Hanzo shook his head in disbelief. “order thousands of dollars worth of shit just for a Skype call?”  
  
“Okay, yeah, I'll _definitely_ be showing you what to buy. The laptop should be about one thousand and a webcam and microphone should be two hundred together. But, yes. Consider it a Christmas gift or- wait, do... do they celebrate Christmas in Japan?”  
  
_How dense._  Hanzo smiled faintly. “Yes. It's more of a romance and happiness celebration than religious, though.”  
  
“Yeah- see? If you feel guilty about spending that much just consider it a Christmas gift.”  
  
Hanzo nodded enthusiastically. They stayed embraced long enough for Hanzo to steal a few kisses and add a bit of tongue before Jesse pulled back. “Alright, it's cold.” He said before giving Hanzo a final kiss on the cheek. He glanced between the car and Hanzo a few times. “Hope it goes well.”  
  
Hanzo beamed. “I think I'm going to get my referral letter today.” He hesitated. He wanted to hug Jesse one last time, but thought better of it and trailed towards his car.  
  
“Let me know.” Jesse called as Hanzo walked away. “I'll put more on the card. Don't refrain from celebrating.”  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Dirk for beta reading these chapters! Check them out on tumblr! http://original-dirk-kin.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

 

“WHAT?!” Genji screeched as he came through the front door. Hanzo had sent him out to retrieve the mail and horror washed over him as he watched his brother stumble back in with his hands full of boxes. Hanzo cursed himself for not remembering the expected day of the delivery. He dropped them on the kitchen table. “Do not think I missed the laptop box.” He leaned against the table and crossed his arms. “Better fucking be for me.”  
  
Hanzo placed both hands on the pile of boxes and quickly hauled them all closer. “No,” he started while gathering them in his arms. “It is not.” He paused to make sure none would slip out of his grasp. Hanzo turned and headed for his bedroom; wanting to open everything away from his brother's prying eyes.  
  
“Hanzo.” Genji echoed, his cheerful tone now gone. “You know my doctor's appointment was two hundred, right? And I know therapist aren't cheap. How did you-” He must have realized Hanzo wasn't stopping and he needed to get to the point if he wanted to be heard. “Where is this money coming from?”  
  
“It is none of your concern.” Hanzo said nothing more before slipping into his bedroom and kicking the door shut behind himself. He let the boxes tumble onto his bed and sat down on the floor with a sigh.  
  
He hadn't bothered to pretend he still had a job. Now that Jesse was gone Hanzo just stayed home most days. There wasn't a reason in driving around for eight hours a day just to have a slightly better alibi. He still wasn't ready to tell Genji about his relationship with Jesse. Not quiet yet. Hanzo still wasn't really sure what his 'relationship' with Jesse was. He couldn't explain it to himself, much less someone else. He'd convinced himself to stop trying to treat their time together like extra expensive prostitution, but he still wasn't sure what end result he was going for.  
  
Admittedly, Hanzo had found their last meeting romantic. It had only been a few days since he'd last seen Jesse, but he missed his touch all the same. He'd considered sending text messages, but thought better of it. Fear of overstepping a boundary had been getting the best of Hanzo quiet a lot recently.  
  
Needing a distraction, Hanzo snagged his pocket knife from the dresser and started to open the boxes. A large sum of them were sex toys; could you blame him? He hadn't wanted to keep toys around the house while living with his father and by the time he and Genji were on their own there hadn't been a cent to spare. But now Hanzo could afford the luxuries.  
  
He'd started his shopping simple enough. First was a silicone dildo with a suction cup. Second added in the cart was another silicone dildo. Instead of a suction cup this one had a vibrator inside of it, and it was a bit wider than the other one- something that reminded him of Jesse. The third addition was a pack of various lubes and toy cleaner, followed closely by condom variety packs. A day and one dream of Jesse later, Hanzo returned to the online store to order a strap-on and the perfect dildo to go with it.  
  
Jesse had ended up showing him a few options for a new laptop and it's accessories and Hanzo paid for the express delivery to make sure they arrived at the same time as the other orders. He had ordered two laptops in the end. One lower priced one for himself and the nearly thousand dollar one was a gift for Genji.

  
He set the computer related items up neatly and made sure the sex toys were visible in the back. He took a quick picture and sent it to Jesse along with a message reading 'It's all here.' Proud of himself, Hanzo smirked as he stashed away all the sex toys and worked on setting up the new laptop.  
  


The sluggish process of letting the computer start up for the first time began. Fortunately Hanzo didn't have to go long without distraction. Jesse's reply came fast and with a picture attachment. It was a screenshot of an email order confirmation and it promised a double delight strap-on along with a wand vibrator.  
  
Jesse: Looks like we're on the same page.  
Hanzo: Guess it's going to be a white Christmas after all.  
  
Excitement made Hanzo unable to sit still and he shifted in his seat. It had been a few days since he'd gotten his first T shot and the most immediate result was an unsatable sex drive.  
  
Jesse: I won't be home for Christmas  
Hanzo rolled his eyes at the message. _As you've already said._  
Jesse: But we can always celebrate over Skype.  
  
Hanzo left it at that and returned to willing himself not to test the toys while overseeing the laptop updating.  
  
»»------------ >  
  
“Hanzo! Hanzo get up!” Hanzo groaned as he felt his brother flop on top of him. “It's Christmas. That means presents.” Genji said, using his best childlike voice. It sounded nearly as annoying as a buzzing mosquito to Hanzo.  
  
“Presents don't have to be so early.” Hanzo muttered, pulling a pillow over his head.  
  
Genji didn't relent. “Asphyxiation won't get you out of this.” He put both hands over the pillow and pushed down slightly. “But if you die that means I get to keep what I bought you.”  
  
Hanzo pulled his head out from under the pillow and shoved Genji off the bed. “Fine, asshole.” He grumbled as he stretched his arms over his head. “Go make us coffee.” Genji gave a thumbs up and left the room with an excited bounce. Hanzo forced himself out of bed and gathered the presents he'd wrapped the night before.  
  
Neither one of them had wanted to spend their money on a Christmas tree, so Genji had doodled one on a sheet of paper and taped it to the wall in the living room. Hanzo set all of Genji's presents down under the tree shortly before Genji joined him with two mugs in hand. He passed one off to Hanzo and they grabbed throw pillows from the sofa and sat down under the sketched Christmas tree. Hanzo glanced it over while sipping on his coffee. “I like how the needles were done in crayon but you drew the ornaments with marker. Very artistic.” He commented.  
  
“I drew the lights with colored pens. I think it all flows together well.” Genji said while admiring his work. He looked towards Hanzo and covered his mouth as a snort escaped him. “What the fuck are you wearing?”  
  
Hanzo glanced down. He was in the 'shut the buck up' shirt. He shrugged and sat his coffee down. “It was a gift.” He simplified the story before making a gesture for Genji to pick a box. “We can take turns, or go through all of them at once.”  
  
“Turns. We have to take it slow because we don't have dad to pick up all the trash.” He said as he reached out and pulled the smallest box into his lap. He disposed of the wrapping paper quickly and pulled the t-shirt from the box. Genji let out an excited bark. “Holy shit.” He said, looking to Hanzo. “I'm shocked you even know what Metal Gear is! Thank you, this is great.”  
  
Hanzo smiled behind his coffee mug. Admittedly, Lucio had to explain that Genji wasn't talking about an actual gray fox, but rather some character from a game. Hanzo had struggled with finding the best looking shirt and had eventually settled on a white one with a graphic of the cyborg in a fighting stance. Thankfully it appeared to be the right choice. Hanzo leaned forward and began inspecting the presents on his side.  
  
“Okay, so.” Genji held his hand up to stop Hanzo from reaching for any presents. “I didn't get you nearly as much as you got me. First reason is I don't have money, and the second is because I spent so long trying to find the best thing I got you.”  
  
Confused, Hanzo raised a brow. “What?”  
  
Genji simplified. “Best present first or do you want to save it for last?”  
  
“Last. I'll do the same for you.” Hanzo decided and pulled the nearest box into his lap. The presents exchanged were simple and somewhat impersonal. Hanzo received a watch, a large blanket -thankfully, since the past few days had left his bed set stained in lube and body fluids-, and a leather wrapped flask.  
  
“Since you'll be twenty-one soon I know you'll need that.” Genji nodded towards the flask.  
  
Hanzo squinted at his brother. “Are you saying I have a problem?”  
  
Genji widened his eyes and nodded slowly.  
  
“Wrong.” Hanzo gave him a small smirk. “I have a lot more than just one.”

  
Genji laughed and reached out to shove Hanzo's shoulder. “Okay.” He had a wide smile on his face. “Go get your Game Boy.” He said as he pulled his from the pocket of his hoodie.

  
“Wait,” Hanzo said, already standing and making for his room. “What did you do?”  
  
“Bring a gen three game!” Genji called after him.  
  
He threw dirty clothes to the side and searched everywhere for the device, finally finding it in the pocket of Jesse's jacket. He checked to make sure his fire red game was still inside, thankfully it was, and he quickly made his way back to his brother. “Wait.” Hanzo sat down and his fingers trembled as he turned it on. “What are we doing? Am I going to scream?”  
  
“You better! I put at least eight hours a week into finding this fucker.” Genji sat with his Game Boy ready. “I had to go out and buy a stupid link cable for this.” he muttered as he offered one end of it to Hanzo. “You know how to get to the trade center?”  
  
“Of course I do.” Hanzo said, shifting with excitement. The trade started and Hanzo pinched his brows together in confusion. Genji didn't have anything more than a Charmander and Pidgey. As he opened his mouth to ask what they were doing he realized what was happening. “Wait, you didn't!” He bit at his knuckles as the trade went through.  
  
Hanzo opened the summary on the received Charmander and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the gold coloring. He covered his mouth and hunched over. Genji let out a fit of laughter and reached a hand out to Hanzo's shoulder. “I went through three shiny Bulbasaurs.” He leaned in, waiting until Hanzo looked him in the eyes. “ _Three._ ”  
  
“Thank you!” Hanzo dropped the device and reached out, pulling Genji into a hug and tugging him close. “I think this is the most personal gift anyone has ever given me.” The two pulled away from each other and Hanzo nodded towards the last present under the “tree”. “I didn't spend nearly as much time on your gift, but I think you'll like it just as much.” Hanzo said, still working on composing himself.  
  
Genji hauled the box closer and started tearing off the wrapping paper. As soon as he got a glance of what was printed on the box he pulled his hands away and held them up like he'd just been burnt. “Wait, it was actually for me?” He let out a breathless laugh and looked up to Hanzo. “How did you afford this?! You can't! It was too much! Return it!”  
  
Hanzo chuckled and pulled his younger brother in for a hug. “No, it's yours. The price wasn't a problem. I know you'll make good use of it, too. You spend a fuck load of time on video games.” He soothed, trying his best to calm Genji.  
  
“Thank you!” Genji wrapped his arms around Hanzo, squeezing until Hanzo muttered that he was being crushed. The two separated and Genji took a few seconds to stop sniffling. “I feel like shit now.” Genji said, glancing around at the new items and discarded wrapping paper. “The most expensive thing I got you was the comforter.” He turned the box over, inspecting the labels. “Fuck, this is better than my tower. Shown up by a fucking laptop... A tower would have been a better choice, though.”  
  
“Don't push your luck.” Hanzo gave Genji a nudge with his elbow. “And do _not_  dis the shiny Charizard. I'm sure there is someone out there who would buy me trading it for more than the laptop cost.” He gave a shrug and took a quick sip of coffee. “Besides, it was a joint gift.”  
  
Genji raised and eyebrow. Hanzo had decided to share a bit of information about Jesse at some point that day, but he quickly realized that was not the time. “I'll explain later.” He shook his head. “Now, want to go set that up?” He nodded towards the laptop, fully expecting the enthusiastic response he got from his little brother.  
  
Hanzo followed Genji into his room and loomed near by while his brother went through the process. He glanced at his phone, feeling excitement spike at the sight of a new message. The text was a simple 'Merry Christmas.' from Jesse. _He was thinking of me._  Hanzo pursed his lips to hide his smile. He turned the screen off to stop himself from blushing.  
  
»»------------>  
  
After spending the morning putting away their gifts the two rode around in Hanzo's car until they found a grocery store that was open. They bought warm food from the deli and muttered about the poor souls that have to work on a holiday on their way out. Genji was charged with making sure the food stayed warm while they drove to the cemetery. It took a few minuets, put they finally found the right spot and parked before walking the rest of the way to their father's grave.  
  
Genji sat on the left side and Hanzo took the right. They claimed their food and drinks, enjoying their their meal while reminiscing about past Christmases that were shared with their dad. It wasn't until their fry containers and sandwich wraps were empty that Hanzo steered the conversation towards recent events.  
  
“I know I've been evasive about certain things recently. I can see it's upsetting you.” He paused and looked up to make sure he had Genji's attention. His brother was staring back, his eyes wide with interest. “I lost my job, you know that much.” Genji nodded. “Shortly after that I,” Hanzo had to glance away. “met someone. He's been paying the bills and buying our food, and your Christmas gifts, recently.”  
  
“Why didn't you just tell me?” Genji asked, shaking his head in confusion. “And why haven't you brought him over?”  
  
“I didn't bring him over for your safety, at first. Now that I trust him I figured you'd prefer to know he existed before coming home to a stranger in the house. I didn't tell you because I...” Hanzo kept opening and closing his mouth as words to describe his mindset escaped him. Genji waited patiently and stayed silent until Hanzo found a way to explain. It took a few minuets, but finally he took in a deep breath and began.  
  
“It felt like admitting that someone else was having to get me out of trouble was a sign of weakness. After growing up working extra hard to prove that I didn't need any help, people started to believe it and although I was proud of that independence it just,” Hanzo gave a single shoulder shrug and picked at the grass. “my best wasn't enough to support us. I felt like it was my fault that we didn't have money. I didn't want to talk about him or what he was doing because it would feel like admitting that I failed.”  
  
A silence stretched out and Hanzo began to feel that sharing that had been a terrible idea. He started brainstorming things to say to defuse the situation until he heard the grass across from him move. He looked up and watched as Genji stood up and walked around behind Hanzo, hugging him and pulling him closer.  
  
“You didn't fail.” Genji said, his voice muffled by Hanzo's shoulder. “None of this was your fault and you did more for me than I could have ever asked for.” Hanzo felt his heart sink and a weak smile pull at his lips. He reached a hand up and held onto one of the arms that were wrapped around him. “If you didn't have to pay for my shit you would have been fine.” Genji pulled away, scooting over until he was sitting beside Hanzo.  
  
Genji took a steadying breath before fixing his gaze on Hanzo. “So.” He cleared his throat. “Lets talk about how gay you are. Who's your boyfriend?”  
  
Hanzo chuckled softly and shook his head. “Not a boyfriend.” He glanced over, expecting to see an amused expression on his brother's face but all he got was a concerned stare.  
  
Genji knitted his brow. “What are you doing to get all this money from him, then?”  
  
Hanzo's smirk fell. He sighed and glanced towards the tombstone. “Promise me this is between you and I.” He could sugarcoat his relationship with Jesse but it wouldn't do any good.  
  
“...Yeah.” Genji confirmed once Hanzo didn't carry on.  
  
Hanzo closed his eyes. “I sleep with him.” He paused before opening his eyes and turning back towards Genji, who looked horrified. “Genji, it's not-”  
  
“You're a prostitute?” Genji sounded like he was on the verge of wailing and his body suddenly looked heavy with guilt.  
  
“Genji,” Hanzo reached out for his brother's shoulder. “I like him. It's not just sex. I look forward to spending time together. I'm not waiting for strangers to come pick me up in the night. I'm okay, it's okay.”  
  
“Are you sure? If you wouldn't do it for free then stop. I can take extra hours until you find a job and if we ever need extra money I can keep taking the hours, or I'll find a second job.” Genji offered, his eyes still wide with concern.  
  
“No, no. It's okay.” Hanzo put his hands on Genji's cheeks, cupping his face while using this thumbs to gently brush at Genji's sideburns. “I'm happy. I understand it's taboo, but I'm not in danger and I enjoy it.”  
  
Silence fell between them while Genji calmed down from his spur of panic. Finally Genji brushed Hanzo's hands away and straitened his back. “So, what do you like about him?”  
  
That was easy for Hanzo to answer. “He's funny. Confident. Doesn't mind that I don't have much to say. Probably because he's always talking. He seems to enjoy my company. I never feel pressured into... favors.” Hanzo smiled faintly. “He cooks really well, too.”  
  
“Wow.” Genji echoed. Hanzo looked over, raising an eyebrow in question. “It sounds like you actually love him. Like, you're not just there for the money. ”  
  
“Love is... a bit of a strong word.” Hanzo gave Genji a disapproving look.

  
“What does he do? Job-wise.” Genji asked, dividing some of his attention back to his phone.  
  
“I, uh...” Hanzo scratched at the back of his neck. “Haven't asked yet.”  
  
“Cool. I'll mark it down as you're with a professional bank robber.” Genji remarked while rolling his eyes. “What'd you get him for Christmas?”  
  
Hanzo let out an amused huff. “I'll ask later.” The questions were piling up fast, but Hanzo felt an unfamiliar spark of pride as he spoke about Jesse. “Nothing. What could I get him? He could afford anything he wanted.”  
  
Genji looked up from his phone and fixed his brother with a stern look. “Hanzo! That's the best time to get them something. “ He held up a finger. “Or, better yet, make something.”  
  
“I can't draw. Or craft. Or whittle. Or sew. Or knit.” Hanzo counted each point on his fingers.  
  
“Whittling would be fun!”  
  
“But I can't-”  
  
“There are tutorials, Hanzo!” Genji insisted.  
  
Hanzo shook his head. “It would probably look bad. I don't want to embarrass myself.”  
  
Genji leaned in. “Do you think he  _likes_  you?”  
  
Hanzo shrugged. “I suppose it's possible. “  
  
“Then he'll love it no matter what.” Genji promised and pulled his phone in front of his face. “I'll look up tutorials and where to buy stuff for tomorrow.” He started typing and scrolling furiously. “Do you want to do wood carving?”  
  
Hanzo curled his lip as he shrugged. “I suppose.” He still wasn't sure about crafting a gift. As heartless as it may seem, he had been embarrassed by drawings or crafts gifted to him in the past.  
  
“Okay, lets brainstorm what you could make him. What are his interests?”  
  
“Uh.” Hanzo leaned away as if it could get him out of the situation. “He likes western movies. Wild west and all that.”  
  
“Something else. A horse or cowboy would be too hard. His favorite animal?”  
  
“I don't know, Genji. Normal people don't ask what your favorite animal is.” Hanzo shook his head, thinking hard. _Horse?_  It seemed the most likely. _Something simpler._ “He had a pet dog.” Hanzo offered.  
  
“Oh! I'm sure there are lots of tutorials for stupid little dog carvings. We can do that. What kind?”  
  
“German Shepard, I think. I've only seen one picture of it.”  
  
A few seconds passed before Genji proudly presented his phone to Hanzo, showing off the YouTube video named 'Simple dog carving for beginners'. “Looks like a Shepard to me.” he chirped.  
  
Hanzo gave an unconvincing smile and nod. “We can do that later this week.” He said. While Genji collected the trash from their meal Hanzo made time to send a reply to Jesse.  
  
Hanzo: You too.  
Hanzo: Is it too early for that Skype call?  
Jesse: Yes  
Jesse: Try again around ten

  
Hanzo curled his lip as disappointment gave way to irritation. He put his phone back in his pocket and followed Genji back to the car. They returned home where they played with their new gifts until it was time for dinner. The store had closed so the two settled for gas station pizza and drinks. Genji offered to drive home so Hanzo would have extra time to level his new shiny. Hanzo took full advantage of the opportunity to play the game, but also made time to text Jesse and tell him he'll be ready for the Skype call at ten-thirty. 

  
Jesse: Works for me.  
  
Ten-thirty rolled around and Hanzo sat on his bed with the laptop. He'd spent twenty minuets preparing the camera angle and was excited to get on with it. He kneaded at the blanket with his feet as ten-fourty rolled around and sent Jesse a text message at eleven o'clock.  
  
Hanzo: I'm ready.  
  
_Traffic. He's on his way now and can't text while driving._  Hanzo decided the reason that Jesse wasn't answering. He refused to let his hopes drop and distracted himself with Pokémon once more. He shot glances at his phone until the time read midnight. Finally Hanzo allowed himself to give into his disappointment and anger.  
  
He nearly threw his DS in anger, but managed to stop himself just as he was aiming it towards the window. With an aggravated growl Hanzo tossed the device onto his bed and marched to his bathroom. He brushed his teeth and did whatever it took to avoid looking at himself in the mirror.  
  
Hanzo returned to his bed and reached out to close the lid of the laptop. Just as it snapped shut he heard the unmistakable sound of an incoming Skype call. “No, wait, fuck-” Hanzo pulled the lid open once again, but the screen was black. “Fuck, I'm sorry. Just-” Hanzo shut the lid again and chewed on his nails as he counted to three. He reopened it and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the screen.  
  
He pressed the answer button and scooted back away from the camera. Hanzo had just long enough to compose himself before the call connected and the two were staring each other down.  
  
“Sorry, I know I'm late.” Jesse sounded completely exhausted. He rubbed at his eyes and leaned back in what looked to be a kitchen chair. “We had a Christmas party and then an after party at a bar.”  
  
“Who?” Hanzo snapped, tipping his head to the side. He realized too late that the question seemed invasive, but Jesse was as open as always.  
  
“My coworkers. It's how the boss makes up for keeping us from our families over the holiday.”  
  
“What do you do?” Hanzo asked, focusing hard on lightening his tone.  
  
“I handle accounts. It pays well but it's boring as all hell.” Jesse stretched his arms over his head, grunting with the effort. “Work for a place that fills jobs for other companies.”  
  
Hanzo nodded slowly as he listened. “What are the trips for?”  
  
“I can bore ya to death with the details another day. You don't have to pretend you're interested.” He rubbed at his eyes once again. “How was Christmas for ya?” He asked, sitting up straight and trying to look composed.  
  
“Good.” Hanzo said with a nod towards the new blanket. “Spent time with my brother and a store near us stayed open so we were able to skip out on making our meals.”  
  
“What the hell stays open on Christmas?” Jesse interjected.  
  
“There were a few places. Anyways, my brother gave me a shiny Pokémon so that made my year. The fucker won't obey me, though.” He glanced up towards the screen and found Jesse with a confused look on his face. “They're really rare.” He muttered and Jesse gave a quick nod. A silence stretched out and Hanzo felt embarrassment building. “You don't seem that interested.”  
  
Jesse let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. “No, I am. I'm just exhausted.”  
  
Hanzo guessed Jesse's choice of topic wouldn't be a children's game tonight. “This is far from the sexy Christmas cam show I was promised.” Hanzo commented to change the subject to territory he knew Jesse was interested in.  
  
“Gee, sorry.” Jesse gave a lop sided smile and reached up, pulling his coat off in almost a drunken stupor. “You wanted a strip tease, then?”  
  
“Maybe not.” Hanzo started, turning his head down to hide his smile from the camera. “From the looks of it this is going to be embarrassing.”  
  
Jesse chuckled, tossing his coat off screen before slouching over and staring at the floor. “What are your family traditions?” He asked, still slumped. “For the holidays, I mean.”  
  
“Christmas wasn't much in Japan.” Hanzo started while fiddling with a few strands of hair. “We'd just celebrate with some kind of seasonal fast food. It doesn't really count as a holiday over there. More akin to valentines.”  
  
“When I was living with my mom,” Jesse's sniffle caught Hanzo's attention. He looked up in time to see Jesse sitting up straight. He rubbed at his nose, not his eyes. Hanzo's concern faded as he realized Jesse was probably just cold rather than crying. “We had a few Christmas parties to attend. We did the same thing for Thanksgiving. We'd start at, uh,” Jesse spaced out for a second, staring off screen in silence.  
  
Hanzo waited patiently through the delay. “Uh,” Jesse shook his head and turned back towards the computer. “Sorry. We'd start at our house, then go to her husband's sister's house. We'd eat lunch there and then spend the rest of the night at a family friend's house. My mother's side is still in Egypt. We send cards, but I've never met them.”  
  
“We didn't have family to go see in Japan.” Hanzo seized the conversation topic again. “We obviously don't have any here, either. My grandparents in Japan are dead and friends isn't something my mother and father are known for.”  
  
“What'd you do today?” Jesse asked suddenly.  
  
“You already asked that. I spent the day with my brother and visited my father's grave.”  
  
“Sorry.” Jesse sighed, seeming annoyed with himself. “Is that the same brother you got that doctor for?”  
  
“ _You_ paid for it, but yes.”  
  
“What was it for?”  
  
Hanzo gave a shrug. “I don't know. The doctor doesn't know either, apparently. They made him go complete lab work and we won't know for awhile longer.”  
  
“Huh.” Jesse planted his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm. “Hope that all works out fine.”  
  
Hanzo poked at the sheets. He arranged the wrinkles on them into shapes: a triangle, A circle, a square. He continued while waiting for Jesse to find a conversation topic; it was the least he could do after being so late. But when Jesse hadn't said anything in a considerable amount of time Hanzo looked back to the computer screen.  
  
Only the top of Jesse's ruffled hair was visible. “Jesse?” Hanzo tested, smiling to himself. No response. He ghosted his fingers over the trackpad and waited a few moments longer. No signs of movement were made and finally Hanzo heard a soft snore. “Goodnight, Jesse.” He said softly before ending the call.  
  
»»------------>

  
Hanzo worked his brush through his hair, trying to get all the knots that had formed during his nap. He heard his bedroom door open and dropped his brush to quickly hide the lubricant and dildo he'd made use of in the shower. He managed to shove them in the cabinet under the sink before Genji made it to the doorway.  
  
“You look exhausted.” Hanzo commented as he picked his brush up and continued working it through. “Did you sleep the entire time I was out?”  
  
Genji shrugged and leaned on the door frame. “Adjusting my sleep schedule for my new hours at work.” He explained. “You're wearing that ugly thing again?” Genji muttered as he glanced Hanzo’s shirt over.  
  
Hanzo huffed. “Buck off.”  
  
  
“Ew.” Genji let out a quick laugh. He rubbed at his eyes and gave a loud yawn. “I thought you'd want to do something special for your birthday.”  
  


“I did do something special. I saw Debra today.” Hanzo had gotten Genji familiar with the name of his psychiatrist. “She seemed happy with how things are working out for me. And I went around to a bunch of parks.”  
  


“Parks?” Genji echoed. “You're not the public type.”  
  


“I am when there's raids involved.” Hanzo gave Genji a side glance and a smirk. “Guess who got a pass to a mewtwo raid.”  
  


Genji scoffed. “You still play Pokémon GO?”  
  


“You don't?”  
  


“You're right.” Genji barely got the words out before yawning loudly.  
  


Hanzo put his brush down and pulled the hair band from his wrist. “Also, Amélie and Lena are on their way.”  
  


Genji opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the doorbell ringing. “Some warning would have been nice.” He grumbled.  
  


“Go let them in.” Hanzo commanded as he pulled the back of his hair in a loose ponytail. Genji left the bathroom and pulled Hanzo’s bedroom door closed as he went.  
  


Hanzo quickly made for the bedroom door and locked it. He pulled his shirt and shorts off befote slipping into a sports bra and loose fitting comfort clothes.  
  


He stepped out into the living room just in time to see Lena walking through the door. Amélie walked in behind her holding a cake box.  
  
“We couldn't get you much, luv.” Lena called as she entered the house. “We just finished paying to transport all my stuff from London.”  
  
“Don't worry about it.” Hanzo answered as he plucked the cake from Amélie's hands. “You brought my favorite part.” He carried the box over to the kitchen counter and peaked inside. It was a round white cake topped with strawberries. Hanzo felt his mouth water.  
  
“We got something for you too, Genji!” Lena held a finger up as she left the house once again. Hanzo pulled his face away from the cake as Amélie approached him.  
  


“Thank you.” He gave her a small smile. She nodded in acknowledgement. She glanced over her shoulder, eyeing Genji where he stood by the front door.  
  


“Lena tells me you've been leaving him alone more often.” She casted a sideways glance at Hanzo. ”She also mentioned that you lost your job.”  
  


Hanzo tensed and stared straight ahead at the wall. “I don't want to talk about it.” He mumbled.  
  


“You can spare me the details.” She went on, much to Hanzo’s dismay. “I just want to know if you're in over your head.”  
  


Hanzo felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He gave Amélie an examitory look over. “What did he tell you?” He asked slowly.  
  


She shook her head. “Nothing. He messages Lena regularly and she mentions what they talk about.”  
  


“So it's what he's telling her that I should be worried about.”  
  


Amélie looked as if there was more she intended to say, but she remained silent as Lena returned through the front door with a vodka sampler.  
  


“It's a gift for Hanzo but... there's enough to go around and, well, I know you're generous.” Lena gave him a wink as she set the gift basket down on the coffee table.  
  
Hanzo seated himself in the living room. Lena passed the basket to him and he started pulling items out. Two bags of flavored popcorn, two medium sized pretzels, a Sprite, a card with 'Happy birthday' printed on it, and six bottles of booze- two of each kind.  
  
“Well, we all know which one is yours.” Hanzo smiled as he handed off the can of Sprite to his brother. “And the rest of us can share a bottle of each kind while the other three will be kept safe in my possession.”  
  
“I knew you would be an alcoholic.” Genji teased as he opened the can. “Can we order pizza?” He asked, sounding excited just at the thought.  
  
“I doubt any of us have enough money for that.” Hanzo muttered.  
  
“What about your-”  
  
“ _No._ ” Hanzo snapped. He had a feeling that he knew exactly what Genji was about to suggest. “We have plenty of food here.”  
  
“We just brought the cake and the basket came with some goodies.” Lena interjected, looking hopeful to end the dispute.  
  
“This is plenty enough. Thank you.” Hanzo gave the couple a smile. “Should we get drunk and eat cake?” He offered, casting a glance around the room.

  
“While watching a movie?” Genji butted in. Hanzo rolled his eyes.

  
“What kind of movie?” Lena questioned, interest obvious in her voice.

  
_Guess we're watching a movie._ Hanzo thought begrudgingly as he pulled his phone out and used it as a distraction.

  
“Horror?” Genji suggested.

  
“Horror.” Lena confirmed.

  
“That sounds fine.” Amélie added.

  
“You can all go home now.” Hanzo muttered, not lifting his eyes from the phone.

  
Genji huffed. “Oh, come on. Like you have any better party ideas.”

  
“Granted. Watch whatever you want.” Hanzo conceded as he curled up in a ball by the armrest. As the three chattered about which movie to watch, Hanzo scrolled through his messages with Jesse. They were all brief and distant, save for the series of 'I'm sorry' texts Jesse had sent after their ‘Skype date’. A terrible date, in Hanzo’s opinion. _I didn't even get his pants off._  
  
“What are you smiling about?” Genji spoke in a tone similar to a whisper, but it was just as loud as everything else he’d ever said.  
  
“I left my mother in Japan for a reason, Genji. Stop acting like one.” Hanzo retorted.  
  
Lena hopped up and fetched glasses while Genji started passing out slices of cake. Amélie seated herself next to Hanzo. Lena returned to the living room and portioned out the small bottles of vodka, giving Hanzo the most.  
  
Genji watched her expectantly. She gave him a chuckle and a shrug. “Sorry, no glass for you.Maybe in a few years.” She plopped down on the couch beside Genji. “But you can have half of what I got. I'm driving tonight anyways.”

  
»»------------ >  
  
  


Hanzo tried paying attention to the movie, but it was about some alien monster and Hanzo preferred serial killer horror. He tried slowly sipping on the whiskey in hopes it would make the movie more bearable, but to no avail. He spent a ridiculous amount of time desperately searching for entertainment on his phone, but there was little success. He set his phone down and reached forward, taking his glass and chugging what little vodka was left. It burned and Hanzo wished he'd gotten something to chase it with, but he forced himself not to cough or show any sign that he'd just made a terrible decision.

Genji used the remote to pause the movie and Hanzo thought he'd been spotted and would be called out for the mistake. “Alright, break time.” Genji said, revealing Hanzo as he realized it wasn't about him. Genji stood and made for the bathroom while Lena headed towards the kitchen for water.  
  
Amélie looked over to where Hanzo was seated on the opposite side of the couch. “You know you should have something else to-”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.” Hanzo muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “It wasn't that much.” He coughed.

She casted a look towards the bathroom door.“What was Genji going to suggest?” she asked softly enough not to be overheard.

“Ask him.” Hanzo stated coldly. He felt her gaze return to him. Irritation pricked through Hanzo. “Stop.” He snapped.

“I'm worried about you.” She said in a tone far softer than her usual.

“Just leave me alone.”Hanzo muttered as Lena returned.  
  
“You said you started taking testosterone, right?” Lena asked while passing off her vodka to where Genji had been sitting.  
  
Hanzo nodded. “It's been two weeks. Nearing three.”  
  
“What are the biggest changes you've noticed so far?” Lena questioned before taking a sip of water.  
  
“I can feel my voice getting deeper.” Hanzo stared at the carpet while listening off and using his fingers to count all the changes. “I'm irritated a lot more. I eat everything in sight.” He paused. Hanzo glanced around for Genji and motioned for the couple to come closer.  
  
Hanzo spoke in as soft of a voice as he could manage.“My clit is-” Hanzo wheezed in laughter. “-growing two sizes every night.” The two girls joined in the laughing and Hanzo wasn't sure if his face was red from the embarrassment or the giggling. It took awhile for them to stop laughing and gain their breath back.  
  
Hanzo was becoming painfully aware of an uncomfortable dampness between his thighs. A side effect he hadn't mentioned was how horny he was. It wasn't the normal 'I need something in me now' type of horny. He was almost constantly in a feral state of heat.  
  
_Of course Jesse isn't around for it._  Hanzo pursed his lips. The huge sex drive had given him a plethora of occasions to use to his new collection of sex toys, and each time he had imagined it was Jesse there with him.  
  
Genji returned and there was a ready check before the movie was resumed. With no further interest in his surroundings, Hanzo pulled his phone from his pocket. His vision was starting to blur and the screen was too bright but he managed to find his way to the text messages.  
  
Hanzo: Jesse.  
Hanzo: I'm horny.  
Hanzo: and drunk.  
Jesse: How'd you get your hands on alcohol?  
Hanzo: I not it  
Jesse: What  
Hanzo: It's my birthday I bought it  
  
As he started to give in to the effects of the alcohol autocorrect became a lifesaver that night, for the most part. Hanzo curled up with his back to the armrest so no roaming eyes would catch a glimpse of his phone’s screen.  
  
Jesse: Why didn't you tell me  
Jesse: I wish I had known your birthday was so soon  
Jesse: 1 min  
Hanzo: Holy fuck uou have no ifea how wet I am  
Hanzo: Jese  
  
_You can't ignore me! Not now!_  Hanzo quickly excused himself to his bedroom. He went to the connected bathroom and locked the door before slipping out of his sweats and briefs. As he'd figured, there were dime-sized pools of discharge soaking through his briefs. It had come with the hornyness. The first time Hanzo had thought he was on his period, but it turned out he was just lubricating like a slip-n-slide.  
  
Shame aside, Hanzo slipped a finger inside himself. He had to bite his lip to silence any noises that threatened to spill out of his throat. Hanzo put his back to the wall and slowly sunk to the floor. He closed his eyes and his toes curled as he played with himself. An idea suddenly came to mind and he peaked one eye open as he pulled his phone from his pocket.  
  
It took a few seconds for his eyes to focus on the screen and he felt irritation flare when he saw there were no new messages from Jesse. He spread his legs further apart and navigated to his camera app. It took far too long to find a flattering angle, but eventually he took a satisfactory picture of three fingers inside himself and sent it to Jesse.  
  
The more Hanzo looked at the picture the more he started to think he shouldn't have sent it. It was zoomed in far enough that Jesse wouldn't know Hanzo was sitting on the bathroom floor. The quality wasn't bad, but Hanzo knew he wouldn't be too pleased by Jesse sending a similar picture. Surprise dick pictures had never brought Hanzo anything but secondhand embarrassment.  
  
Hanzo’s doubts were silenced as a text message came through.  
  
Jesse: I'm going to fuck you like an animal  
Hanzo: please  
Hanzo: now woulk be nice  
Jesse: I wish I could  
Hanzo: ehat else do you wish you could do  
  
He could feel his heart rate rising and he subconsciously licked his lips.  
  
Hanzo: Jesse  
Jesse: I'm here  
Jesse: hold on  
  
Hanzo set his phone down and closed his eyes. He toyed with himself, trying to make it last but without further encouragement the feeling started to die and he pulled his fingers out. He washed them off, redressed, and used a quick spray of cologne on himself in hopes it would hide the smell of vagina.  
  
Hanzo grabbed the blanket from his bed on his way back to the living room. He curled up under the blanket against the arm of the couch. He tried once again to enjoy the movie, but it wasn't captivating enough to stop him from checking his phone. He had notifications that promised new text messages from the contact 'Daddy', but nothing could have prepared him for what he read.

 

Jesse: I want to have my way with you.  
  
Hanzo's mouth felt dry and he could feel himself becoming wet again as he read the messages.  
  
Jesse: Make you tremble and moan.  
Jesse: I want to make you come from the vibrator until you're sobbing and begging for my cock.  
  
Hanzo glanced around the room. The other three were still all watching the TV screen and completely oblivious to his face turning red as a tomato.  
  
Jesse: After that I'll fuck your ass and use a plug so you don't lose a single drop of cum while I fuck your pussy.  
  
Hanzo was almost breathless. He blinked at the screen until he came back to his senses enough to type out a reply. His thumbs shook as he lingered over the keys. _What do I say? Do I keep it going? Do I just say yes?_  As he hesitated another text came through.  
  
Jesse: Too far?  
Hanzo: No it 'sd fine  
Hanzo: great, actually  
Hanzo: I'm sit ling here rutting against the heel of my foot hoping my friends don't notice  
Jesse: Adorable  
Jesse: I'll be back Monday. What do you want to do for your birthday?  
Hanzo: buy me Skittles akd raw me  
Jesse: We'll discuss it when you're sober.  
Hanzo: Can we talk ovbr skype again  
Hanzo: Tonight  
Jesse: Sure. Just let me know when  
  
“Shit, we should head home. An hour drive there and I've got work in the morning.” Lena spoke up suddenly. She stood up and stretched her arms over her head. “Thanks for having us over and I hope you had a good day, Hanzo.”  
  
“Of course. Thank you for the gifts.” Hanzo stood to say farewell to the couple. He stumbled, just barely catching himself on the couch. “You've clearly had enough!” Lena teased as she giggled. She offered a hand to steady him gave him a brief hug while Amélie held on for just a bit longer. The two parted in a hurry and Genji aided Hanzo in cleaning the living room before scurrying away to his bedroom.  
  
Hanzo sent a text to Jesse letting him know he'd be ready soon. He walked to his room, careful of each step. The last thing he needed was to fall and bust his head. His legs shook as he prepared the laptop at the edge of his bed and straightened up the surrounding area. Once everything looked presentable Hanzo settled in front of the computer with his legs crossed.  
  
Hanzo: Ready?  
  
The response came in the form of a loud tune from his speakers. He scrambled to turn the volume down and answer the call.  
  
“Were you hovering over the call button waiting for me?” Hanzo growled, slightly irritated over being scared by the sound.  
  
Jesse gave the camera a smile. “Uh-huh.” Hanzo hunched over as he tried to get a better look at the screen. Jesse looked good, from what Hanzo could tell.  
  
“Did you do your hair or are the sayings about alcohol making people more attractive true?” Hanzo asked with a small smirk.  
  
Jesse chuckled as he leaned back in his chair. “I'm a little fancied up, but it is true.”  
  
“You aren't sitting at a kitchen this time.” Hanzo commented as he examined the background. “Is that an office chair?”  
  
“Sure is.” Jesse crossed his arms over his chest. “Comfortable as hell, too. Its where I shoulda set up the first time we did this. I was too drunk, though.”  
  
Hanzo gave an amused huff. “Understandable.”  
  
“How shit faced did y'all get? You don't look so bad.”  
  
“Well thank you.” Hanzo spoke sarcastically. “My throat burns, I'm walking like a baby giraffe, and my vision is a little fuzzy. It's moderate compared to when I usually drink.”  
  
Jesse chuckled. “Your texts seemed pretty drunken.”  
  
“It's a small screen with small print and small keys. Fuck off.”  
  
“So mean.” Jesse teased.  
  
“I started hormone therapy. It's making me irritable. And horny.” He huffed.  
  
“I'm guessin' that's what spurred the texts earlier?”  
  
“About the texts you sent.” Hanzo leaned in with a smirk..  
  
Jesse blushed and turned his face to the side. “Yeah? Embarrassin’?” He asked, clearly uncertain about the things he'd said in the heat of the moment.  
  
“ _Extremely._ ” Hanzo rolled his eyes. “But also rather hot. Was that your original plan? For last time, when we used the plug.”  
  
“Nope. I just have a lot of plans for you.”  
  
Hanzo pursed his lips. “I'm going to get a water.” Hanzo announced, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “When I get back I expect to see you without pants.” Hanzo slipped off camera without another word.  
  
He smiled to himself as he struggled to walk straight. Hanzo took one of the bottled waters from the fridge and stopped outside Genji’s room. He used his knuckles to knock on the door. An irritated “Yes?!” came from the other side and Hanzo welcomed himself in the room.  
  
He leaned on the door frame watching as Genji furiously tapped at the keyboard. “I'm going to bed.” Hanzo said and turned around, wanting to get out before he got blamed for a death in the video game. He wasn't sure the message was clear enough so he paused and shot a glance over his shoulder. “That means leave me alone.”  
  
Genji looked over to him with a comical sickened expression. “I got it.” Hanzo smiled faintly and moved from the doorway, kicking the door shut behind himself.  
  
He stopped at the entrance to his bedroom, trying to come up with a plan for getting back on the bed.  _Crawling on might look ridiculous. I could sit on the edge and slide back into view._  Hanzo took a long sip of water. _That's trying too hard._  Hanzo shut and locked the door behind himself before placing the bottle down on the bedside table. He put his hands on the bed first and used them to haul himself onto the center. A confident smile pulled at his lips as he caught sight of Jesse's bare hips. “Do you have lube?” Hanzo asked as he leaned back to remove his pants.  
  
“Roger.” Jesse's reply was short.  
  
Hanzo peaked around his legs to get a look at the laptop screen. Jesse's arm was moving in a way that couldn't even be counted as discreet and it made Hanzo smirk. “Lower the camera a bit. I want to see.” Hanzo demanded as he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his briefs and slipped them off. He tossed his clothes to the side and leaned over the side of the bed. He shot a glance back, just to make sure his ass was on full display, before peaking under his bed and pulling out the dildo with the vibrator.  
  
“When did you buy those toys you showed me?” Hanzo asked as he resurfaced and removed the vibrator from the base of the dildo.  
  
“Shortly after you left.” Hanzo glanced up and felt his cheeks heat up at the display. “I figured ya were open to kinky things after using the plug.” Jesse answered, but Hanzo hardly heard him. His focus was on Jesse's cock, leaning to the side and leaking as it was slowly pumped.  
  
“Speaking of kinky-” Hanzo kept his eyes on the prize as he leaned back and spread his legs on display. “-tell me more of what you'd do to me.” Hanzo flicked the switch of the vibrator on and glazed it over his clit. He'd practiced the act enough to subconsciously find the right spot.  
  
Jesse made a startled sound. “I don't know.” He slowed the pace he was jerking to. “I might have a fetish you ain't into and ruin this whole thing.”  
  
“Just start talking.” Hanzo commanded. He closed his eyes and curled his toes as his resolve started to break.  
  
“I uh-”  
  
The first orgasm came much faster than expected, sneaking up on Hanzo and his gasp interrupted Jesse. Hanzo’s head fell back and he arched his back as he came. Hardly a few seconds into it he flipped the switch off and sat back up, a frown on his face. “That one wasn't good. Probably because you're not talking.” Hanzo grumbled.  
  
“Alright, alright.” Jesse sighed as he adjusted himself. “Just tell me if ya don't like what I'm saying and I'll switch to somethin’ else.”  
  
Hanzo held up a finger as he rolled to the other side of the bed. He leaned over the side and shifted through the boxes under his bed until he found the bottle of lube. He moved back to the center of the camera. “Give me a moment.” He said as he started slicking the shaft and head of the dildo in lubricant and used what was left on his fingers to coat the outer part of his folds.  
  
“Alright. Say something attractive.” Hanzo muttered before pressing the tip inside. There was a moment of stretching pains, but they stopped no sooner than they started. Hanzo fell slack against the sheets as he used one hand to pump the dildo in and out, moaning at the way it rubbed the sensitive spots. Courtesy made him bite down on his knuckles to stop himself from getting too loud and ruining his brother’s night.  
  
“Trying to stay quiet?” Jesse sounded winded and Hanzo didn't have to look to know that he was jerking off again, only this time much faster. “I'd shove my fingers in your mouth. Tell you to suck on them while-”  
  
“Wait!” Hanzo sat up and tugged the blanket close. “Let me get the lube off my fingers.” He made quick work of the chore and settled back down with his legs spread for the camera.  
  
“Are you-” Jesse didn't finish his question as it was answered on screen. Hanzo used one hand to fuck himself with the toy while using the other one to place two fingers in his mouth.  
  
Jesse moaned and Hanzo could hear the wet sounds of Jesse jerking off through the speakers. He picked up the pace with the dildo to try and match Jesse’s speed. “Three fingers, babe. Shove them down far and suck.”  
  
Hanzo pinched his eyes shut and excitedly obeyed. He gagged once, corrected himself, and sighed in content around the digits.  
  
“Choke yourself, Hanzo.” Hearing Jesse say his name sent chills down his spine. Hanzo pulled his fingers from his mouth and wrapped them around his neck. With nothing to silence himself and all the passion of a horny ferret, Hanzo contributed to the fantasy. “Daddy!” He called in an airy moan.  
  
Another moan from Jesse. _Good._  Hanzo wasn't sure if the weakness in his legs was from the dildo or the relief of not turning Jesse off. “Come for daddy.” He said, his voice gravely.  
  
“Hold on.” Hanzo bit his lip as he sat up and reached for the vibrator. He fell back against the bed and turned it on. Hanzo couldn't have stopped the sighs and moans if he tried. His clit was pinned between the dildo and vibrator, being rubbed on one side and tussled on the other. “Daddy- papa-” Hanzo’s body trembled as he approached another climax.  
  
“Be a good boy and come around my cock” Hanzo’s eyes stretched wide as he came. It took all the restraint he had not to moan and scream Jesse’s name. Instead he stared at the ceiling with his mouth wide open in a silent cry as random parts of his body jerked.  
  
“Kitten- ah-” If Hanzo had any strength left in him he could have come once again just from Jesse's moans as he went over the edge. Hanzo gave a weak smile and lifted his head up to look at the screen.  
  
“Kitten?” He echoed, sounding just as dazed as he felt.  
  
Jesse gave a chuckle and a shrug as he grabbed a cum rag from off camera and began wiping the mess he'd made. “Thought it was fittin'. Even before the whole daddy thing.” Jesse set the rag down and dusted his hands. He fixed the camera with a smile and his words sounded sentimental. “You're a lot like a cat.”  
  
“Just wait until I get you under me.” Hanzo's head fell back against the pillow and he giggled. He lifted a hand up and curled his fingers in a claw motion. “This kitten has claws.”  
  
“Is that the alcohol or the double orgasm talking?” Hanzo could  _hear_  the smile on Jesse's lips.   
  
“I think both.” Hanzo exhaled as much air as he could. “I'm light headed.” He looked back to Jesse and opened his mouth to say something only liquid confidence could convince him was the right thing to say. "I-"  
  
“I'm gonna get cleaned up. Still sticky.” Jesse grumbled, glancing his palm over with a disgusted frown.  
  
_can't wait to see you_. Hanzo let out a long, irritated sigh. Once Jesse had stalked off camera Hanzo hauled himself to the side of the bed and stood. He collected his toys and brought them to the bathroom for later cleaning. He washed his hands and placed the bottle of lube back under the bed before plopping himself down in front of the laptop once more. He laid on his stomach with a pillow under his chest, adjusting his hips so his ass was in view until Jesse returned.  
  
He came back wearing boxers, but at least he was now shirtless. “Now we know we have a few things in common.” The older man commented.  
  
“You like being called daddy.” Hanzo said, his eyes exploring the pixelated image of Jesse's chest.  
  
“I thought you knew that.”  
  
Hanzo frowned and furrowed his brows. “How was I supposed to know that? The last time I called you daddy you were too embarrassed to even look at me.”  
  
“What?” Jesse crossed his arms over his chest. “When?” He put one foot up on the desk, making the webcam shake for a moment, and used it to rock himself in the office chair.  
  
“At the store. The day we met.” Hanzo rubbed at his temple while the fuzziness on the edges of his vision was starting to grow.  
  
Jesse tipped his head back with a weak laugh. “You're kidding, right?” He shook his head slowly while smiling to himself. “I had the biggest hard on. The way you looked at me when you called me daddy-” Jesse snapped his fingers. “Just like that. Instant boner. I was ashamed, not embarrassed.”  
  
Hanzo felt his eyes widen and a spark of interest came from his vagina. _You've had enough._  He silently hissed at his body. “What was there to be ashamed of? I'm the one who tried to fuck on the first date.”  
  
“The lady next to us noticed. She looked at me like I was the scum of the earth and I felt that way. Felt bad for wantin' to fuck you so hard while you were just enjoying a joke.”  
  
Hanzo smirked. “It was disguised as a joke. I was testing the waters.”  
  
“God.” Jesse brought both hands up to his face. He let out a large sigh before letting his hands slip into his lap and going limp against the back of the chair. “My nuts are squeezed dry but I can't stop thinkin' bout everything I want to do to you.”  
  
Another beg for attention came from between Hanzo's thighs. _Later._  “Good. I'm constantly horny now. I was worried you wouldn't be able to keep up.  
  
Jesse gave a crooked smile. “Baby, if my dick gives out halfway through I'll use a strap on for all I care.”

  
“That's the only birthday present I want.” Hanzo covered his mouth as a large yawn stretched his jaw.  
  
“Naw. You get that for free. What do you want as a birthday gift?” Jesse barely got the words out before mimicking Hanzo's yawn.  
  
“Mmm...” The room was starting to spin so he closed his eyes and pressed the side of his face against the pillow. “I'm thinking.” He whispered as he came down from the euphoria. “Maybe a new car. Some clothes would be nice, too.” Hanzo huffed against the pillow. “But that's all expensive. You've already done too much for me. Buying a cake is good enough.”  
  
“How about this.” Hanzo could hear the sound of Jesse moving forward in his chair and resting his arm against the desk. “Once I'm home and all rested, I'll invite you over for dinner. We'll celebrate, and then in the morning we can go shopping for anything you want.”  
  
Hanzo opened his eyes. He blinked a few times in rapid succession, half from disbelief and half from trying to beat the blurred vision. “Even a new car?”  
  
“We can do that first and you can drive the car while we keep shopping.”  
  
“I hope you're serious.” He did his best to sound grateful for the offer, but the light and bubbly mood Hanzo had been in was passing fast. His body felt heavy with exhaustion and he was losing the fight of trying to stay awake.  
  
“Deadass.” Jesse promised.  
  
“I'm holding you to that.” Hanzo mumbled as he laid his head back down on his pillow. He pinched his eyes shut, trying to wish away the nausea and headache.  
  
“Goodnight, Hanzo.” Jesse's tone was soft. _Too soft. Too comforting_. Hanzo didn't have the power in him to fight smiling at the words. He nuzzled his face against the pillow, imaging it to be Jesse's chest.

 

 


End file.
